家庭是个大课堂

蓝田日暖

“如果撑伞没诚意那我淋雨爱你”

我看着这首歌的名字，短暂陷入沉思，嘴角控制不住上扬，因为——太神金了。什么鬼。但，好像又有那么点有才。哈哈，我再仔细一看，自己居然还点赞收藏了的，不过哪怕是中文歌，我也只听旋律，很少关注歌名和歌词，所以这是我与此歌名的初见。

厨房灶台上泡着马兰头，据说是堂姐在她家门前剪的。马兰头我倒是爱吃的，不过这段时间，我对食物无感甚于有感。就是一种随便的态度，吃饱就行，要求不高。昨天以为自己想吃甜味蛋糕，买了个巧克力奶油蛋糕，结果也就那样，分了两次才吃完。

晚上老爸提出想听音乐，不知道什么软件好。我拿过他的手机，麻溜给他下载了网易云，尽管qq音乐下载量更大，但我溺爱网易云。“这样，会员就我来给你充，中国银行app上每周二有优惠，挺便宜。”我正打算操作，猛然发现他是新客，第一个月的会员只要0.88元，等于免费。买了会员，我按照他的偏好，找到了云朵和小沈阳的主页，选了他们最红的歌曲，创建了两张歌单。他喜欢的歌对我来说常常等于虐耳炸弹，我俩对音乐的选择几乎没有重合区，但我尊重他的喜好。

我还躺在床上没起来，楼上的夫妻似乎吵起架来，动静很大。我叹了口气，心里默默希望他们和谐相处。出了门，我才意识到自己的态度好了不是一星半点，换成以前，我可能一秒不爽，怪他们制造噪音，扰了我清静。有趣！可见，在那一刻前，我的状态相当不错。假如我做了噩梦，或者想起了烦心事，我很可能会觉得他们特烦。

看了小钟达卡街头喝玛莎拉芦荟汁，再看香港棺材房，接着打开已经下载的哈萨克斯坦游牧民生活的纪录片。嚯！这对比！前两个世界带来的窒息感，在代入牧民身份后，瞬间消散了。相当于从呼吸困难的狭小空间里打开了一扇门，走出去，天高地远，及目所见是无边无际、缓缓起伏的草原，肆意奔腾的骏马，在小溪边悠哉吃草的牛羊，一只长得像狼的牧羊犬正围绕着白色毡帐打转，少女在柔软的草地上盘腿而坐，怀抱一只刚出生不久的雪白羊羔，干完活的女主人则蹲在家门口，观察着自家的动物。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

I felt a little frustrated, but I told her to wait a bit and she might understand then. Half an hour later, she sent me the right answer. Woa! Wonderful, she herself figured out how to solve the mathematic problem. I like knowing that she can and will continually figure out stuff by herself. Because she is smart and intelligent and powerful.

And then, I pondered. What's the big deal if one couldn't figure out stuff that one actually feels no interest in? And stuff that actually is not a need? For me, no big deal at all. If I were able to re-live my school life, I wouldn't care about it, I would do my best to make the study more interesting and more efficient if I had to continue staying in the school, and then I'd get more free time to do what I truly like. If there were choices other than school that rang my bells, I would choose them. I would definitely wander away in my mind while what's being spoken was so boring. I'd definitely cultivate my ability to imagine...

I must be true to myself and show my own opinions clearly to some people I care about. Whether they agree or not, resonate with them or not, it's their personal choices which I can never force or decide. So I decide that in my connection with her, I would more care about what she truly loves and I would express my happiness for her doing what ring her bells. I already know the priorities in terms of my future conversations with her.

I like holding this lighthearted, new attitudes so different than most adults and therefore opening something new to kids in my life. They are bombarded by repeated teachings and stuffs and warnings and "shoulds" too much. Burdening this kind of stuff, one's intution and inspirations would be smothered...

蓝田日暖

昨天晚上看《追风者》，流了两桶眼泪。好久没有追剧的体验了，还不错，今天最后两集，等更新的日子暂时结束——也因此有了新的收获，王一博近几年的影视剧应该是可以看看的。不看字幕的影视剧，我现在都是1.5倍速看，不影响情绪的起伏激荡。昨夜着实为人类，为人类与宠物的生离死别，流了好多眼泪。

最近的胃口很奇怪，最喜欢的竟然是清口的绿茶，还有就是康师傅牛肉方便面。昨天中午点外卖的时候，差点无能狂怒，怪自己为什么不爱吃猪肉，不然选择可就多了。看到虾仁馄饨刚要下单，就看到主原料还是猪肉，选择放弃。挑挑拣拣，决定还是大胆一把，买了小馄饨和8个生煎包，生煎包吃了4个，倒是没吃到肥肉，但那股气味彻底阻止了我，再吃下去保不准就要吐了。小馄饨吃完了，但大馄饨我是一定不敢买的，馅太多，咬到肥肉概率太大。前几天在兰州拉面馆吃了羊肉泡馍，忘记了一件重要的事，里面有番茄，而我不是太喜欢番茄酸。我也不怎么喜欢醋酸，醋在我的饮食生涯里存在感极弱，吃饺子我也不加醋。但还是有小惊喜，汤里的羊肉不膻，还有独特好闻的奶香。

小家伙响亮地哭了起来，脸都胀红了，身体扭来扭去，奶奶终于泡好了奶，奶嘴一放到她口里，哭声立止。她忙碌地吮吸着，粉色小手有力扒拉我的手，眼睛却渐渐合了起来，看样子要睡了。几秒后，就是那么快，她睡着了，眼睛还留着一道缝，像她妈，也像她哥，睡觉半睁眼。我把她放床上，盖好小毯子，均匀的呼吸声传来，感觉应该可以睡上一会，至少能睡半个小时吧。

千金难买她乐意。老妈又忙碌大半天，做了好几板冻米糖，装满了几十个食品袋，很快可以分给亲戚朋友了。这就是热爱的力量。热爱，使得她愿意花费大量时间和精力，来做这些流程繁多的小零食。她既享受这个做的过程，也喜欢与人分享的幸福感。所以一年到头，她要自制好几次辣酱，冻米糖，包子，以及粽子。

蓝田日暖

最近在看讲述游牧民故事的纪录片。

在一片苍茫的冻原上，白色毡帐隐隐绰绰。帐内，暖黄的烛光中，男主人不停地往热红茶中加糖，坐在对面的小男孩切了块鱼干，放入口中慢慢咀嚼。他微皱着眉头，一副不开心的模样。晚饭前，父亲再度询问他，是要继续学业还是跟随他的步伐，成为一名游牧民。他才十来岁，希望继续学业，但显然父亲强烈地希望他继承家业。

第二天，父亲交给他一项任务，让他独自在夜间照管驯鹿群，不能睡着，以免狼群来袭。他懵懂地答应了，但刚从学校安全温暖的环境中出来，他没能立刻进入角色，夜深时还是睡了过去。他睡着的时候，狼来了，这个家庭损失了三只驯鹿，一小群驯鹿惊惧逃走，不知所踪。他一声不吭，承受父亲噼里啪啦的斥责，然后带着牧羊犬，坐着雪橇走了，他必须找到走失的驯鹿，将它们带回。

天气渐暖，是时候转营了，母亲的担忧不能阻挠父亲的决定，他已经忙碌地拆起了毡帐。在找到丢失的驯鹿后，小男孩必须再加把劲赶上大队伍。在此之前，他必须孤军奋战；哦，也不算，因为还有他的小黑，那只忠诚的牧羊犬。




两天后，丢失的驯鹿还没有踪影。小家伙站在雪橇旁，嘴角耷拉，一筹莫展，小黑也走累了，此刻正蜷缩在雪橇上补眠。焦虑归焦虑，小男孩没有一刻想过打道回府，他继续寻找，终于在第二天看到了那些熟悉的身影。巨大的成就感充盈了他的每条血管，他和小黑瞬间像打了鸡血般激动。。。。。。

他终于与大部队会和了。父亲拍拍他的肩膀，称赞他是个好男儿。头一次独自在雪原，在暴风雪中，艰难行路，有什么东西改变了。小男孩主动告诉父亲，他选择成为游牧民，照管驯鹿和牛羊，不停迁徙。

蓝田日暖

Here and now, I feel comfortable from head to toe. No pain at all.

I was watching a video where a girl was full of physical pain almost all the time when she is awake. That reminded me of some of my past experiences. Physical pain and other kinds of severe discomfort suck. However the more one hate them, the more obvious and harsh they become. When one was totally absorbed by pain, the only thing one can is related to pain and the desire of being painless becomes strongest at that moment. I feel blessed that I experience physical pain rarely now and when it happens, it wouldn't cause that much trouble now, because I know how to better deal with it.

I would deliberately become much more allowing and patient to myself. It may not disappear soon. I choose to make peace with it. I may purposefully focus upon the painful bodily part, and imagine myself showering it love to heal it. I would become a bit curious about what would happen when I just quietly feel the sensation which is called pain by human beings--sometimes, just this behavior could soothe the pain. In other times, remembering the big picture and cleverly arranging my attention help a lot. There was a time I felt the most excruciating pain so much so that I thought I might die. I didn't go to the hospitcal. At firts, I change my physical positions to feel just a little better. Then I began to soothe myself using any thought I could think of. The only purpose is to feel a little better both mentally and physically at a time, and keep doing it until I reached the turning point. Then that point came. Some interesting thought automatically visited me. I was able to ponder upon other bodily parts such as my fingers. I thought, "But my fingers are alright. They don't feel any pain. They can still freely move." I moved my fingers, obeserving them and then discovered more and more bodily parts that actually were still working very well for me... Half an hour later, the pain subsides, I was full of sweat but was full of energy again. The pain was totally gone. I didn't need to go to the hospital. My mind worked wonders. My ability to heal and soothe got greatly enhanced.


Most of the time, we just take the healthy, painless body as granted, and only when severe pain visits us, we start realizing how strong we desire a body without pain or any kind of severe discomfort. So, here and now, I would like to appreciate my body as it is now. It is totally light and lighthearted. Every cell is relaxed and healthy. I am clear-minded, flexible and energetic. My brains work better and better for me. I watch/listen/read and understand faster and faster now. I keep on speeding up my watching/reading/listening. I see clearly. I hear clearly. I speak clearly. I walk fast. My fingers move extremely efficient for me. New hair keeps growing and I am fullly satisfied with my hair. I process food and drinks wonderfully every day.

蓝田日暖

I was still interested in the nomodic lifestyles, so I kept watching documentaries.

Different nomads live diffrently, though there is still great sameness among them. The Komi are Caucasion and they also live mostly in the tundra with their herds of reindeer. Different from those in Siberia, males often wear knee-length thick hoodies looking quite cool. But the colors are very limited and usually dark colors such as black, grey and dark blue, while the women and girls wear bright-colored, glittering dresses with impressive flowery scarfs. They definitely are attractive moving spots in the land of massive white and black.

Most reindeer are grey and cream white; only a few, pure white. Reindeer are wild and fierce, and often the nomads need to spend time and energy to tame them or capture them for drawing the sleds. They move frequently, never staying at a place for long. Four reindeer draws a sled with people or family possessions. 5000 reindeer really make a huge caravan in the vast snow-covered tundra with continual pitter-patters sounding in the air. Every night, they need to set up the tent again for cooking and sleeping. This repeated daily process would last several weeks until they reach the pasture where they can stay longer.

Men keep fit because of the strenuous daily work and they wear special glasses to prevent from snow blindness. The heavy snowmobile had come and picked up all girls to the school and they won't see their parents for months. They write letters from time to time.

It's always pleasing to see fresh colors in the sky like the sunglow or the silver hook/the new moon. It's always a big treat to go back into the cozy, warm tent after standing outdoors for some time...

蓝田日暖

There was fear about driving cars, so I didn't drive before, but now I decide to learn how to drive and then actually drive. I have my own unique ways to learn. First, it's about mentalities. As time goes by, a lot of old fears are already gone and therefore I have already built a better basis. Second, I am very used to the public transportation, and doesn't feel any urgency to drive cars or even have a very strong desire to drive cars. So I have great leeway to just learn and feel at the pace I choose. No hurry at all. And what happens to the learning process could be applied to a lot of other learning processes. Which is the extra bonus. Days ago, I found a wonderful online coach who was so patient, allowing, skilful, and articulate. I have been watching his videos and most of what he says are understood by me and for other parts, I have my ways to figure out. He is right: The most important thing is to build the sensation or feeling or identity that I am the master, the owner and the controller of the car. I masterfully control/drive/manage the car. I KNOW that one day I will perfectly and precisely sense and use and manage distances, directions and angles. It's mostly a feeling based upon confidence, and of course practice. I am now doing mental preparing. In the yesterday learning process, I was inspired to watch some F1 videos and got amazed at the mindbodies of those racing drivers. Human bodies are magical. I like knowing this.

My niece wechatted me last night and she said she wanted to talk to me about other things instead of study. Wonderful! That's what I liked. We talked about our favorite fruits. I was rarely fanatic about fruits, but I do like durians. She likes a lot of fruits, vegetables and also pork. She likes drawing and DIYing stuff. She likes reading fairy tales...

...

蓝田日暖

去超话看了看，一片愁云惨雾，大致了解经过，皱了皱眉，决定暂时少去看帖，这类帖子对事情毫无帮助。

因为当下所发生的事而失望，而失去对未来的希望，我对这种惯性很熟悉，很敏感，很不愿意受其困扰。一切皆有可能，你怎么确定未来就如你的负面预想？你怎么知道事情没有转机？你不想事情有转机吗？。。。。。。

我想起两个月前的事，很有趣。一部电视剧在网上挂了两个小时就下架了，幸好，在这短短两个小时内，有网友将它们全部下载，暗暗分享，甚至有海外字幕组专门为它做了字幕。我在网上看了一些粉丝自制mv，觉得两个演员长相养眼，看上去很匹配。就长相看得过去这一点已经不容易了，虽然我一集没看，但我真心希望剧组的努力没有白费，演员的表现得到更多的认可。我希望这个题材的影视剧创作会变得更自由，更稳妥，拍了就能安全上架，而不是在地下室里积灰。

谁知道呢？一切皆有可能，看吧，我好奇事情究竟会怎么发展。我希望它能重见天日。于是，在我观看这些剪辑的时候，我总是重复自己的这些希望，然后给视频点个赞。我从来不加入那些对现状的抱怨甚至愤怒帖，实际上，我只会快速略过，根本不想去看细节。

两个月后，什么东西的确变了。我不知道具体发生了什么，但结果是，这部剧在三个较大的影视剧平台重新上架了，虽然国内还不行，但这已经是很大的进步，想看的观众可以轻松看到，视频清晰度可以达到4k，海外观众也能看到比较靠谱的翻译。看到这一变化，我心甚慰，同时也意识到它将淡出我的视线，因为兴趣已经到头了，好奇心也得到了满足。直到今天，我还是一集也没看。

反正从我的角度看这件事：于其抱怨，不如怀抱一些希望，至少希望的感觉要比抱怨来得好多了。摆脱惯性思维的限制，我们的心胸会开阔很多：

难道事情一定不会有转机？
难道我所希望的真的一点可能都没有？我确定吗？有靠谱的证据吗？
难道我的抱怨真的会起作用，因为会哭的孩子有奶吃？但这靠谱吗？这值得吗？
。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

洗漱完毕，立刻在桌边包起了饺子。猪肉饺子，他俩已经吃过了，现在包的馅料是专为我准备的，韭菜鸡蛋馅。不求美观，只求迅速完成，我包好了11只难看的饺子，顺便告诉老妈，我肯定吃不了那么多，7只是极限了。出锅之前，老妈舀了一点冷水倒入锅中，解释这样皮子才能熟透。Okay，记下了。我对咸鲜味接受度比较高，这顿早饭吃得还可以。下午，脑子里记起绿豆冰糕，以为自己会喜欢吃，买来后吃着吃着就皱起了眉头——忒甜了。那么，这家店真的放多了糖吗？那倒未必，而是近期我的摄糖量太少，已经习惯了少糖甚至各种无糖食物饮料，一下子接触到就会觉得太甜，中间缺少了缓冲。没错，这几天，我又回归了无糖的美式咖啡。

几天前，忐忑站在电子秤上，还好数据变化不大，尽管我已经很久没有运动了，连快走都省了。我的体重应该与饮料和夜宵密切相关，饮料选甜味咖啡或奶茶，睡前吃泡面，那么数字就会上升，改喝美式，想不起来吃夜宵，体重就会下降。三餐如果在家吃，体重又会下降一些，因为我只会吃一小碗饭加一些蔬菜，但点外卖的话，我可能会把一整份意面都吃完。外卖也真的是需要比较，轻食店里的熏鸡肉千岛酱意面，色香味俱全，我可以整盘吃完。某家店的麻辣香锅，吃到一小半，那股气味和碗底的油聚合在一起，创造出一种难以形容的感官体验，我的脑子里开始回荡老妈的负评——“好吃什么，太油腻了”，我甚至怀疑它用的是地沟油，只好中途放弃，并决定以后再也不买。后者根本不能细品，前者则可以认真地感受每样食材的风味。这就是差距！

连着下了好几天雨，终于放晴了，方便外出夜行。走的那条路两边都是老小区，沿街两侧则是低矮的双层商住店铺，因此视线上移时会有种豁然开朗感，空间充足。在这个温暖的春天，香樟树已经撑起了鲜绿色的大绒球，饱满可爱，看样子，二三十岁应该是有了。以前他们还有梧桐相伴，现在则是两两十米相望。那些高大的梧桐树去哪了呢？搬到郊区了吗？我还记得它们被修剪得光秃秃的样子——因为长得太快，常给沿街小店的墙壁和窗户带来压力，所以隔一段时间，工人就会大张旗鼓地为它们瘦身。

在b站上看了个介绍迈巴赫S680的视频，因为在小说中看到过迈巴赫好几次，出于好奇便搜索了一下。我听着车主兼测评人慷慨激昂的讲述，想着他的语言表达挺不错，听听能长点见识，但是，他的语气未免太过兴奋了吧？虽然没有明说，在那一刻，我认为他的兴奋是装出来的，是为了节目需要。但很快，我开始问自己：我确定？如果他真的就是那么兴奋呢？说不定他还嫌语言不够表达他对这部车的喜爱呢。这让我想起了一些明星视频下的粉丝评论，他们对偶像的喜爱，痴迷，甚至更夸张的情感，已经能从他们的文字中窥得一斑：长篇大论，各种最高级，表情符和感叹号用个没完。对他们，我的第一反应不是质疑他们的情感，而是从我的角度看觉得他们有些疯狂了。我不认为他们在假装什么，是因为从一开始我已经认定，有些粉丝的情感就是那么激烈。

思路扩宽一点，假设我是迈巴赫S680的狂热粉，那么前面所说的视频带给我的恐怕不是疑问，而是强烈的共鸣感：对！说得对，我也是这么想的，就是这样……

无论如何，人类的强烈情感存在于各个领域，且每个人不一样；意识到这一点，至少可以让我多一点同理心。不过，当对方的强烈情感与自己密切相关时，该小心还是得小心，该质疑还是得质疑，想想传销，想想各种层出不穷的骗局。

蓝田日暖

Sometimes, boredom would lead me to searching and watching some documentaries about lives I may never want to live. And by comparison, my appreciation of where I am could be re-activated.

I watched some documentaries about sex workers who were victims of human traffickering. They lived in extremely small rooms and had to work from early morning, violating their own wills. They barely make ends meet. People belittle and shout at them...

I was born in a comfortable family. My mom cared about and is still caring about our wellbeings. She is a wonderful cook and we often eat quite well. We don't need to care about any other stuff other than studying. As for study, my parents never hold actually strict standards. We safely lived till we were big enough to keep ourselves safe and be cautious about strangers' intentions. I never needed to do part-time jobs when I was at school. I was well supported, financially speaking.

As I began to ponder deeper on the dynamics of the family, our relationships started to become more healthy and harmonious. Now, most of the time, my parents connect with each other in great harmony. They often chat happily though I don't know what they are talking about. They just have topics both are interested in. They support each other in different areas. They care for each other. They both hold strong love for their grandchildrens. When my mother cooks, my father would wash vegetables and manage the table and tableware. My father drives my mother to work in the morning. My mother cooks and puts what he likes eating into the lunchbox. They also have wonderful relationships with our relatives. All of them are used to sharing goodies with each other. My mother often makes snacks and then distributes them to relatives and friends. When I was in the hospital, my mom patiently and lovingly took care of me for about 20 days. Every day, she went out for getting me delicious meals and my comfort beverage then--the milk tea. She comforted and encouraged me. I love that they have hobbies and I love seeing their big smiles when they do what they like.

I feel blessed that I can so easily remember those loving family scenes. Because they did exist, yes. But also because, a long long time ago, I had begun to deliberately search, observe, remember, milk and then cultivate these harmonious scenes. I remember that my father was always so willing to help us move homes and adapt to new schools. He would carry the luggage and accompany us to the school dorms. When we were in our grandma's home, fearing because of the new environment and some awkward news, and then the next day our father came to pick us, for my mother worried about us and wanted to take us back home as soon as possible--you could say it's a mother's intuition. Which was exactly what we so wanted then. We were so happy seeing our father...

Yes, I like interacting with people. I like having fun with kids. But most of the time, I like doing things on my own in a very focused manner. And I am blessed to always have abundant free consecutive time to do what I love. And I have lots of interests and so I can easily find what I love doing here and now. I am surrounded by pleasing sounds instead of noises, so I can easily put my full attention on the subject I deliberately choose. I am fully supported by all kinds of elements--the free time, a wonderful physical environment/space, a healthy body and a clear, fresh mind, and the object of my attention I am in love with. I love music. I love stories. I love pondering and exploring my mental world. I love enhancing the wellbeing of myself and my family. I love writing. I love expanding my persepectives of the world. I love walking in the open air and observing the beauty surrounding me. I love gourmet food and beverages. I love coffee and green tea. I love reading novels. I love funny skits. I love breaking through old, negative thought patterns. I love cultivating my trust in the bright future of anyone I care about. I love being solution-oriented. I love expecting good things to happen. I like being hopeful instead of hopeless. I just love feeling good.

How interesting! At lunch time, my cousin came, brought us roasted chicken and peanuts, and again, she got to meet my little niece. They have such a unique bond. As she held my little niece, the latter immediately stopped crying and she stayed in her aunt's arms quietly and happily and was willing to drink milk. Both of them got perfect timings. Last time, when my cousin came, my little niece was here too and they had a good time. And today, the same lovely interaction happened again.

蓝田日暖

还没进门就听到了婴儿啼哭声，嗯，是小家伙来了。哼哼唧唧，牛奶也不愿意吃，据说只有在外面玩的那会心情还不错，一走上楼梯看到门就开始瘪嘴了。

你到底哪里不舒服呢？什么能让你停止哭泣呢？我抱着她，一只手轻轻托着她的后脑勺。我正在心里琢磨，响起了敲门声，原来是表姐来了。她带来了烤鸡和炝花生米。她很喜欢小女娃，尤其是我手里的这小家伙。人与人的缘分就是那么奇妙，上次她来时，小女娃也在，正哭着要睡不睡，到了她怀里不久就安静睡去了。

表姐接过她，抱在怀里，她停止了哭泣，眼睛亮晶晶的。表姐坐在了沙发上，她乖乖地靠在表姐怀里，递过去的奶瓶也不再拒绝，认真地喝起了奶。我们啧啧称奇，感叹她俩独特的氛围。我们一起吃饭，在奶奶怀里只安静了一会的小家伙，再度来到了姑姑的怀里，又立刻停止了哭声，甚至开始咧嘴笑，甚至笑出了声。正在这时，她爸爸发来微信视频，我们热情地把镜头对准她俩：看看，看看，黏上姑姑了，一见姑姑心情就好了，这缘分！

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终于从封闭的小空间里出来了，之前不知储存在何处的能量突然大爆发，因为环境的变化，我的情绪来了个大越级。之前，只能无聊地看电视，无聊地等睡觉，出来后，看啥似乎都带上了美好的滤镜。喜欢宽敞的空间，喜欢带小娃儿外出玩耍，喜欢买一点点的三分糖珍珠奶茶、边走边吃边观察，喜欢那种扑面而来的自由。大概就像饿了很久的人，突然有了吃的，哪怕以前对这些吃食不屑一顾，此刻也觉得它们是美馔佳肴，形容不出来的喜欢。

一段时间后，强烈的兴奋感渐渐淡去，环境变化带来的新鲜感不再，我进入了新的阶段。之前困扰我的问题已经解决，我对生活又充满了兴趣。简单来说，我对许多事感兴趣，我喜欢许多事，虽然兴奋感不是常态，但或强或弱的兴趣却是常态。观察自己的现状后，我开始抽出时间来进一步调整自己的信念体系，探究存在的焦虑和恐惧，看哪些可以轻松化去，哪些需要一段时间、持之以恒的调整，哪些近期不适合深入、需要等待时机成熟。

有些信念体系的调整，势必或者很容易遭到旁人的挑战，这个时候就需要想想：如果那发生了，怎么办？在我，我喜欢提前准备，最好将自己的决定巩固得无坚不摧，到那时候，别人说什么，都不会影响自己的主见和做法。即便我不能确定结果，但想到这是我自己做的决定，我愿意独自承担一切结果，我喜欢自己做决定的自由感，我也就有了更强的定力去坚持自己所想，哪怕别人反对我。这会有点冒险，有时候是冒大险，但对于有些人而言，这样的险很值得冒。

我喜欢弄清楚自己想要什么，在这个前提下，再去有意识删选进入感官的信息。如果我想要从某个特定的困境中突破，那么述说环境如何决定人命运的故事就不是我想要的，除非我认为这些信息有助于强化我的突破。但绝大多数情况下，这些信息只会强化我的疑惑或不信——我可能会觉得突破是天方夜谭，继而失望，继而放弃任何努力。。。。。。

总而言之，在这个信息爆炸的时代，如何选择进入感官系统的信息极度重要。

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在每一时刻，想到某个人，通常我可以回忆一些愉快的往事，或者一些痛苦的片刻甚至狗血到爆炸的事件。当人的状态达到比较稳定且正面的时刻，惯性就会偏向于那些愉快的往事，但如果你硬要回忆那些痛苦片刻，不用担心，给它们时间，它们依旧会壮大，然后把你拖入负面情绪中，尽管几分钟或几十分钟之前，你还高兴着。

谁会在我们的生命中拥有复杂的记忆库？通常而言，父母在其中。

经过多年的努力，对他们，我的心态已经比较稳定，且已经有意识积累了许多美好的回忆——我写了非常多的欣赏列表。当我对他们不满时，我便可以运用这些回忆来改变自己的心态，大部分时候是成功的。

我是怎么积累那些美好的回忆的？有一部分得益于日常的细致观察。多年以前，我觉得老妈太会抱怨，不懂欣赏人事物。我希望她少抱怨，多欣赏。当我立志改变自己的态度，努力发现他们身上的美好之处后，每一次，当我发现她展现那些美好时，我都会特地记下来，事后会重点强化，而不是去强调她的抱怨时刻。我会注意到：嘿！尽管她厨艺很好，但此刻，她在真心欣赏其他亲戚的厨艺。她说，只要有充足的时间，大家的厨艺肯定都会进步的。你看，谁和谁，烧菜都越来越好吃了。当她追着小娃儿喂饭时，我意识到她是真的担心他吃不饱，怕他营养不够，她的爱很真挚，尽管方式待议。她特别关心在她看来需要帮助的人，她会去努力帮助，所以回村时，她会去看望那些并不是亲戚的老人，给他们带吃的，给他们钱。当她对着麦克风，一个人快乐唱歌时，我觉得她很可爱……就这样，在她身上，我发现了越来越多可爱的地方。有时，当我对她不满时，回忆回忆这些可爱之处，不满会消失，欣赏和关心会取而代之。

可以这么说，在人际关系上，不断发现和强化人的可爱之处，能极大地促进和谐，减少矛盾和狗血事件。但这确实需要持之以恒的努力，以及最重要的，一个强烈的渴望——你到底渴望什么样的人际关系？

蓝田日暖

虽然她和表姑很有缘分，但这不意味着，她不会与我们建立新的关系。简单来说，我的愿景是：她会在与我们的关系中感到安全，逐步适应，并从中发现乐趣。

当我接过她的时候，我就在想：一定会有一千种一万种，甚至更多的办法，让她从不舒服或者不安全的状态中出来，停止哭泣，平静下来，甚至开心起来。反正，我很有耐心，也很乐意去探索所有可能的办法。

有了这样的信心，也不会因她的哭声烦恼时，我便可以根据自己的一些了解，去探索，去建立对她而言安全舒适甚至有趣的氛围。我抱着她来到窗边，让她看外边的树，告诉她春天到了。我和她闲话家常，具体内容她也许听不懂，但我讲故事时候的情绪状态却极有可能影响到她，所以首先我得自己对口中所说的感兴趣。我和她聊起了她家附近的那个大公园，告诉她到时候她就可以和爸爸妈妈一起去那儿了。里面有个很大的碧玉湖，有几艘小船，她可以去坐一坐，周围有很多漂亮的小花，散发着淡淡的清香。她可以看成双成对的蜻蜓，看五颜六色的蝴蝶。。。。。。我的故事只讲了几分钟，她就安静下来，睁着明亮的眼睛，应该是真的在听我的故事。

半个小时后，她感到不舒服，开始抓挠自己的头。我拿下她的小手，开始用指腹轻柔地按摩那些点，一边安抚她说：没有关系，过段时间，这些不舒服就会消失——这些话其实是我对自己说的，因为我开始期待，她的身体状况转好，不再或大幅减少湿痒的情况。她的手不再往上伸，又安静下来，小脑瓜里似乎在想什么。过了一会，当我逗她的时候，她咯咯笑了起来。

她妈妈来得比想象的早，很好！因为我有自知之明，我可以高质量地和小娃儿待一小段时间，但不能是很长时间。小娃儿走后，我立刻开心而专注地打开电脑，做自己喜欢的其他事情了。

蓝田日暖

信心与决心

多年以前，我的人生经历使我特别向往热情的状态。对生命充满热情，这是我当时渴求的。我不知道如何实现这种状态，我也不确信自己真的能热情如火，但我却有无比坚定的努力决心：我决定寻找尝试各种方法，直至实现我所渴求的。为此，我看了很多书，学习了很多调整情绪的办法，但我的状态离热情还有些远。

某一天，我在看某本书，作者与一名老者对谈，老者谈到他的终极渴望，作者应该认为基于老者的过往体验和剩余的日子，他不太可能实现这一愿望。我盯着那页纸，有个问题在我心中升起：那我呢？如果我接近生命的尾声，而我的愿望尚未实现，也不确定能否实现，我还会追寻吗？我的答案瞬间出现，而且带着不可逆转的力量：当然，哪怕我明天就要死了，我也不会停止追寻我认为最重要的东西。那一刻，我都被自己感动了！

再后来，我的很多疑问都有了答案，我的梦想、向往和所求，也随之而有所改变。但那段经历，尤其是那样的决心，每每回忆都能重新给我带来力量，尤其在我无聊或迷茫时。那是一种永不放弃的态度，以及永远愿意寻找尝试实践的心态和实际行动力。那时候的我通常会给一种方法一个月的实践时间，如果没有成效，那证明在当时的状态下，它不适合我，我该去尝试新的方法了。但当我的情境变化后，以前无效的也可以变得很有效，所以告诉自己“它暂时不适用”很有意义。加上“暂时”两个字，往往可以让前方的道路拥有更多的可能性。

蓝田日暖

Random writing for the sake of writing

So, they fought for a trivial thing. I felt indifferent, knowing that this trope would soon be over. And, at a moment, I even thought: Maybe it's good thing for them to quarrel, spreading dog blood all over the place, until they realize they are just wasting their time. And this time, no one has any interest in mediating. Yeah! We are all adults. So just fight and take full responsibility for the fight yourselves. I am out. Music is more attractive to me now.

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雨下得很大，七座商务车到了，小娃儿被交到了外婆手里。说了再见，正要转身，发现小家伙就在后排，说起来有些日子没见了。光线不好，不能看得很清楚，他似乎剪了个板寸，不知道左边那个闪电符还在不在。嘿！我靠近车门，手指努力往后伸，和他打招呼。他懂了我的意思，握住我的手指，那一刻，心里有一点点酸涩——小家伙都那么大了，我们有段时间没见了呢。显然，是时候找个好时机，好好玩耍了。

我的包还在附近的咖啡店里，雨再大，东西还是得拿回来。我撑着伞，淌过一些水洼，把裤子下半截浇湿后，终于到达了目的地。坐下来，不急着回去，去了超话，迅速点赞了几个帖子，然后发现有厨子写新文了，点进去一看。哇靠！再一次震惊了，这个厨子从来都是一鸣惊人，每次发文字数都以万字计，这次一股脑儿发了三万多字。除了佩服还是佩服。妥妥的为爱发电！我订阅了文章，打算有空时再看。再回超话，似乎一方有了新工作，具体什么不知道，一些超话成员在发许愿贴。如果是真的，那就真的是好消息，毕竟长相气质演技都有，还是希望他能接到好的影视剧角色，于是利落地给这些帖子点赞了，权当是我的精简版祝福，评论就算了。

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在一种环境中待久了，你容易视其为理所当然，或者产生厌烦心里，想要以新换旧。这个时候，让你去发现它的可爱之处，是不是有点难呢？可如果你要给它打广告呢？如果你要让别人相信它的魅力呢？

额？！你环顾四周，看着两室一厅，家具陈旧，墙皮剥落的这套房子，一时之间想不出好话。因为你的脑子里已经被埋怨积聚了：太小，空间不够这一大家子了；太旧，色调太灰暗；线路老化，一些新家电都没法安装。

试试把时间倒拨，想想当时你为什么会搬来这儿。在此之前，你住的又是什么房子——好像是隔音很差的一室一厅，采光差，通风不佳，气闷，靠近街边，晚上还能听到车压马路的隆隆声。现在你看不上的这套房子，当年是否曾让你两眼放光，满怀期待呢？是不是，它依然会让某些人爱上呢？毕竟，它容得下一家三口，隔音也不错，客厅有阳光穿过。虽然是老小区，但房子位于小区中央，夜晚很安静，可轻松入睡。因为是有些年头的居民区，周边生活设施齐全，日常生活很是便利……

又或者，你可以转换身份，暂时把自己代入到更糟糕的环境中去，如此一来，你能更轻松地发现当下环境的可爱之处。你可能会说：

这里治安很好，我经常晚上外出散步。这里没有种姓制度，没有人被定义为不可接触者。没有所谓高人一等的店员，翻着白眼把衣服扔在地上，因为来的顾客被定义为不可接触者。你可以悠哉地赶火车，只要在指定时间内就行，你不必冒着生命危险去扒火车。走在干净的街道上，两旁没有露于表面的污水沟，空气是清新的，仔细闻嗅甚至能发觉清淡的花香……

蓝田日暖

I am in love with quietness. I am also in love with pleasing sounds defined by myself, such as birdsong.

I create a new, extremely quiet space for myself. It's small but big enough to accommodate all the stuff I need in order to enjoy my solitude. Soft music is filling this corner to the brim. Hot coffee is ready in my thermos. There is no noise at all.

Once again, I am sure that at least for now, I don't like at all those loud sounds from certain apps, especially news or stories with exaggerated sound effects. They can easily ignite my anger. And I have my ways to sorta turn down the volume in my mind, but it often seems a battle leaving me tired. Maybe one day I would be focused and strong enough to easily ignore these sounds and I expect that to happen, but for now, I choose to admit my present state, and when it feels like a battle, the best thing I can do for myself is to leave if that is a choice.

Surrounded by pleasing sounds including the quietness, most of the time, my mind and body are realxed, comfortable and ready to do whatever is needed and desired with high quality. My mind is clear and fresh. My body is comfortable, energetic and eager. I can easily pick a subject and then devote all my attention to it. I watch and learn, while accummulating interesting points to ponder later on. I read word by word at a faster speed, vividly picturing the scenes in my mind's eye. I listen and in a way, highlighting on my mind the most resonating parts--like I am underlining certain sentences with a red pen. Often, under these conditions, when I would feel like writing, I would immediately write, letting the words naturally flowing out... When life feels delicious to me, it often happens when I am in a pleasing sound environment.

I mentioned that recently I was interested in the nomadic lifestyles and today, a lot of lovely elements coming together, offered me a poetic novel depicting a couple meet in the grassland and spend time living like nomads. It's a slow burn with them working hard every day and showing their care and love toward each other with action instead of words. One thing led to another, I was called to search about the details of the nomadic lifestyles again and I almost wanted to dive into the whole history of their unqiue movable houses--yurts are not that accurate.

Just got another wonderful news which helps me to shore up the thought--all things are possible; just be more hopeful instead of disappointed or even hopeless. That drama got onto two platforms, but at first several days, it didn't attract much attention. A lot of stuff on social media would give the impression that if something--movies or dramas--couldn't attract the audiences' attention in a short time period, it mostly would be a flop. And many people would easily lose hope, just believing that it has failed. But, all things are possible. And there are slow burns which then become great hits. So, I didn't feel disappointed and thought it's still possible for it to be popular. After all, it had a more stunning breakthrough that took two months. And today, I read a piece of news and now it becomes the No.10 most viewed/popular drama on that platform. Bravo!

蓝田日暖

我给自己创造了一个温馨小空间。最最关键的就是，安静。具体点说就是，它为我提供了绝佳的声音环境，使我可以轻松而专注地做自己喜欢的事。

买的烤椰热咖啡到了，我把它倒入保温杯中，放在左手边。右侧的矮几上则放了一杯饮用水。在一片宁静中，我打开了网易云，这次我没有戴耳机，因为不会打扰到别人。柔和的音乐溢满了这个小小的空间，我开始读一篇小说。故事发生在草原上，主人公之一是哈萨克族的游牧民，小说中满是游牧生活的日常，放牛放羊，打馕，做奶酪，泡奶茶招待客人，骑马收羊，挤奶，守夜……一气看完了三万五千字，意犹未尽，又在网上研究起了哈萨克族的毡房，甚至想把它的框架以及内外饰的主要元素通通记下来，想到还有其他事要做才按了暂停键。

读着读着，就充分感受到了含蓄之美。一方有直白热烈的视角，另一方很少有心理活动，有也只是寥寥数语，但恰恰就是这寥寥数语形成了留白，引人遐思。看完整一卷后，我又从到尾拉了一遍，回顾了那些深藏在简练语句中的情感，含蓄中透着浓烈。

白天的烦躁和头疼完全消失了，我的头脑异常清醒，毫无睡意。打开的浏览器里还留着几部白天想看的纪录片，略微浏览了一下，此时已经没了兴致，把它们放入“稍后再看”列表后，关了这几个页面。向后靠倒在椅子里，喝了几口依旧温热的咖啡，整个人松弛下来，脑海里隐隐绰绰地闪现着草原风光：平缓起伏的草原，闪着银光的细小溪流，碧玉湖上的欢鸣白天鹅，正在天鹅妈妈身边仰泳的灰绒小天鹅，眼睛亮如黑曜石的幼鹿正无师自通地踮脚吃母羊的奶，花毡、挂毯和亮色橱柜把毡房装饰得鲜艳夺目，生着火的传统炉灶上奶茶已经飘香，长桌上摆满了面点和小零食，毡壁一角挂着几把猎枪、赶狼用的，羔羊的咩咩声由不远处的羊圈中传来，没有浓云遮挡，一轮纤细的银钩清晰明亮，远处传来狼嚎，牧民化身猎人、集结着商量如何抓到那只狡猾的母狼……

我可以轻松在脑海里勾勒出自己喜欢的视觉场景，这些场景因时而变。通常，我不会对某物的美保有长时间的热情，我很少保留珍藏某物，然后时时去凝视触摸欣赏，所以我几乎不买装饰品，不管是摆件还是挂件。我对纸质书、杂志和照片也无感，对我来说，电子版还有节省空间这个好处。这样的喜好使我偏向于极简主义者，不容易堆积大量的实体物品，但这不是因为我认为极简主义是一种更好的生活模式，而是我独特的喜欢、不喜欢与无感决定了我偏向于这种模式。如果我真心喜欢实体物品，希望自己的生活空间充满那些看得见摸得到的可爱之物，那么我就会希望有足够的财力和足够的空间来满足自己这一偏好了。

如果音乐、故事等亦归于物质的话，那么毫无疑问，我的物质欲一点不低。我每天都听歌，欣赏故事，而且会一直一直期待新歌和新故事的出现。它们是我生命的重要组成部分。

蓝田日暖

和戈壁滩上的骆驼有所不同，这儿的骆驼高大强壮，你甚至可以看到它们腿上虬结的肌肉。它们乖顺地跪蹲下来，好让小女孩安全地骑在两峰之间。到了冬天，它们的下巴和脖颈垂下长长的绒毛，看上去暖融融的，显然是在帮它们御寒。马，牛，羊，并不都是一抹色的，好多有大块的斑纹，有时候可爱，有时候奇怪。比如，那匹棕马，一块竖直的白斑几乎均匀地将他的脸一分为二，像是带了特质的面具，难怪出众。黑白色相间的小羊仔正急切地从小女孩拿着的塑料瓶口吸奶，因为母羊奶水不足，必须给她额外加餐。老人用望远镜看自己的牛羊，一边他的小孙女正剥开糖纸，塞给身边两只焦急的山羊，没想到它们也喜欢吃甜的，而且牙口很好。

水是珍贵的，得省着用。假期结束的三姐妹回到学校所在的村子。即便是这个人烟聚集之处，水的获得依旧不容易。这儿没有自来水，得去专门的井里打水。两个小妹妹负责取水，好在她们有简易的手推车，不必费太多的力气，费的是往返的时间。其他家务都是大姐干的，虽然家电基本备齐了，但一天下来，完成所有家务两个小时总是要的。父母在几小时车程外的牧场，他们为三个女儿的教育很是费心，专门在村里建了舒适的房子，供她们上学用。当大姐去首都上医学院时，他们更是做了个大决定，努力凑钱在城里买了小公寓，好方便她的生活，也为两个小女儿未来的学习生涯做准备，为此爷爷几乎卖光了他最爱的骆驼。

相对而言，这是一家与现代生活靠得比较近的游牧家庭，爷爷奶奶偶尔也会离开牧场，来到村里的尖顶砖房里生活，但他们常常不习惯，奶奶想念她的牛羊马狗，爷爷则因为无法发挥自己一身的本事而无聊，眼睛看着电视心里却总是空落落的。当他们要从春季牧场搬到夏季牧场时，他们不必纯纯依赖骆驼，因为他们有卡车。不像冻原上的那一家，能依赖的只有驯鹿。家当很多，四只驯鹿能拉的一架雪橇能装的却不多，所以需要许多驯鹿和雪橇，5000只驯鹿组成一支绵延不尽的队伍，在天寒地冻的苍茫大地上踏雪而行，不知怎的，带了点悲怆。目之所及是黑、白、灰三色，在这样的环境下生存，不坚韧是不行的。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

大雪会封山六个月，到时候整个村子将与世隔绝，在此之前必须做好准备：柴火、干草、食物酒水和必要的生活物品都要备足。收干草用长镰刀，拉柴用牛车，都是传统得不能再传统的工具，费时而费力，但在这时不时停电的高海拔山区，它们是靠谱的伙伴。个人自扫门前雪，莫管他人瓦上霜，在这儿是行不通的，亲戚邻里之间的互帮互助是生存的必须。男主人正在帮表哥割草，忙得不能下山吃饭，儿子给他带来水和午餐。他出了一身汗，检查后发现镰刀出了一些问题，需要及时修理。村里没有专门的木匠和铁匠，但总有那么一两个从父辈手里继承了这些技能，业余时间用来自助助他。村里的业余铁匠接过他的镰刀，三两下找到问题，利落地开始烧焊平整，当天就让这把修理过无数次的镰刀恢复了全部的功能。

回到家，女主人已经做好了晚餐，主食是卡查普里，有一两盘不常见的小菜，奶酪自然是不能少的，可以叠着切片面包一起放入口中。也许是因为冬季较长，室内装饰偏向温馨饱满，夏天时视觉上会感觉比较热。酒通常是自酿的，男人喜欢聚在一起喝酒，且非常注重仪式感，喝之前要说祝酒词，满满的都是对国家、对本地区以及本民族的美好期望。

传统渗透在山川的每个角落，包括山路和墓地。斯凡人认为亡人灵魂永存，依旧保护着他们在世间的所爱之人。他们喜欢给墓地带去新鲜的酒水，他们在山路边为那些意外去世的人设坛，同样摆上饮食。对他们而言，死亡意味着从肉身转化为灵魂，是特别重要的人生步骤，必须隆重对待。一个年轻人逝去，移动的送葬队伍人数可以高达1000人，不可思议！

气候较好、能与外界联通的时间里，男主人业余做导游和司机，几年下来总算赚够了钱买了一辆小面包车。在冬季来临前，他驱车几个小时前往省会带孩子看病。医生是他的远亲，告诉他孩子的脊椎有些弯，日常需要注意姿势，饮食方面，还是应该多吃蔬菜水果，补充必要的维他命。山区有一些蔬菜水果但很少，所以每次下山他总是尽量多买几袋，但那也是杯水车薪，毕竟他们要被迫封闭六个月之久，蔬菜水果可新鲜不了那么久。出于礼节，晚饭时分，他去拜访医生，医生一家准备了丰盛的晚餐。走入客厅，最显眼的便是那祭坛，一层层摆满了极为精致的圣像。医生滔滔不绝地讲起了圣像的作用，以及他对圣像的崇敬。几乎每家每户都会有这样一个祭坛，男主人所在的大家族更是拥有自己的一个教堂——重要的仪式都会在教堂里外开展。

斯凡人拥有丰富的战争史，至今村里还留着年代久远的石头堡垒，以前是御敌用，现在则做了食物储藏室。即便是和平年代，口耳相传的过往故事依旧让这里的人信奉血债血偿的道理。他们说，血仇一定要报，哪怕晚几十年也是值得的，即使国家法律规定不能报私仇。。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

德马万峰，海拔5000多米，群山山头常年罩雪。火山已经蛰伏千年，但曾经的喷发造就了此地土壤的肥沃。温泉，有，且很多；开花植物更是漫山遍野。于是乎，蜜蜂寻花而来，忙忙碌碌。六月初，养蜂人在河边支起了帐篷，开始为期三个月的逐蜂之旅。

他从容地走在草地上，面带微笑，跨过一团团紫色的百里香。还没看到蜂箱他便转过头，开始侃侃而谈，“你不觉得蜜蜂是上帝的珍贵造物吗？如果没有蜜蜂，植物怎么办呢？大自然又会怎么样呢？我太爱它们了。”蜜蜂喜欢山间的百里香、黄芪和茴香所开的花，其实从这些名字不难得知，此地的蜂蜜有药用价值，可以疗愈疾病。终于走近成排的蜂巢，他穿戴完毕，笑容未减，打开一个蜂箱，从里面抽出巢框，隔着蜂帽亲吻上面的蜜蜂。带了一些羞赧，他解释道，“有时候不知道怎么表达对它们的喜爱，我就会这么做。”养蜂虽然辛苦，但他甘之如饴。辛勤劳作后回到帐篷，听着河水流动的声音，看着不远处的巍峨雪山，在满眼的绿意中，一切疲倦都消失了，“我的生活是美好的，我很满意。”

汽车疾驰，地质变幻，雪山远去，出现的是茂密森林。在森林外围的小城里，乐器匠人打开他的工作坊，向旅人展示最近的心头好。他拿着那把高颜值的塞塔尔，摸着手柄，说这是黑檀木做的，然后把面平背圆的底部靠近旅人的双眼，让他细观其中的纹路，看对方一脸茫然，才意识到马上要说的对门外汉来说可能难了点，遂打住。起先，他只是想当个纯粹的音乐人，拨他的塔尔，结果找来找去发现很难在市场上买到中意的乐器，一来二去，又点了新的技能，亲自做起了弹拨乐器。这儿木材丰富，配齐想要的原材料比别地容易。开心时，烦恼时，他都喜欢背靠大树，弹上几曲，总而言之，就是一天不弹一天不舒服。

蓝田日暖

你就这么喜欢去外面吗？我竖着抱她，右手托着她的脖颈。打开门，往楼梯下走了几步，哭声戛然而止，次次如此。她温热的脑袋靠在我的右肩上，心情平复后，便开始津津有味吃起了拳头，口水显然浸湿了我的肩袖。我走出小区，走上繁忙的街道，一边是沿街商铺，一边是穿梭不停的车流。她喜欢这样的热闹，五彩缤纷的视觉，此起彼伏跃动的听觉，以及嗅觉和触觉。她的大头压着我的肩膀，当我踏步在超市的走廊上时，除了吃拳头的声音，没有丝毫的哼哼唧唧，于是我就知道，她一定是睁着那双黑白分明的大眼睛好奇地观察着四周。

也门某海滩上，一群半透明淡粉色的螃蟹正忙碌地搬沙，搭起一座座小而尖的沙塔，这是它们的家吗？相同国境内的索科特拉沙漠上，生长着奇异的沙漠玫瑰和龙血树。像玉兰树花开无叶，饱满肿胀的身躯往上岔出几根光秃“细”枝，托着一捧捧紫花，这就是开花时节的沙漠玫瑰。它是上小下大，与龙血树是反着来的，后者以巨大的蘑菇树冠闻名，明显地头大身小。若说它们是沙漠的原住民，家就在沙漠，那么也门的单峰骆驼就是来沙漠上班的，任劳任怨，是旅队的主力，贝都因人不可或缺的伙伴。

下午，走近路，穿过枫杨搭成的天然廊道，来到许久不见的超市，再走几百米终于到了公园，在满眼绿意中，月季的红格外鲜活跳跃，用手轻摸，略厚，带点磨砂质感，拇指与食指捏紧的话，一定会沁出耀眼的汁水。再往前走几步，河边窄坪上的月季有了不同的模样，它们有着斑斓的花色，优雅而诗意。。。。。。