家庭是个大课堂

蓝田日暖

I like seeing honest, stubborn, persistent holders or pursuers of their desires or what they treasure. There are always people who want to control others this way or that way, often in the name of for your good. Whatever. I am glad that they are honest with their own feelings and don't let others interfere with their true dreams. They won't hurt others' feelings just because something would bring them benefits and their family insist they do so. There powerful beings continually have their hearts burning with hopes, desires and dreams, no matter how hard their present situations are. Then, cooperative elements come their ways. Their hopes, desires and dreams guide them to new and better stops, and another new and better stops...

心动模式on the music app led me to some old but still refreshing and resonating songs. I am now again looping Morning Sun by Robin Thicke and Missing U by Lee Hi. I like do my reading and writing in beautiful music. I am quite loyal to Netease Cloud Music app though I rarely read its comment sector which it is famous for. It offers me music with abundant high quality sound effects. It offers me musical pieces from all over the world and I just explored some Uzbek songs last week. With it on my laptop and phone, I can immerse my mind and body in unique beauty wherver I am. I let it take me to different atmospheres--a warm haven, a fairy valley, the limitless grassland with horses and sheep, the bamboo raft floating on the river, a garden showered by the flower rain, an owl perching on the branch in the moonlight, etc.

I got myself a bowl of instant noodles. It's a mushroom and chicken flavor which I adored. Purely eaing is not my thing; I prefer to get my mind busy with spirit food like a novel. My brains, eyes and mouth were all working diligently. Then, a bit sourness crept in my heart, or around my chest--Alas! I was again influneced by a trope in novels. One wronged the other, the other felt discouraged and didn't explain anything or had no chance to say any word, and then boom! he got into some trouble like being kidnapped. Really?! Author. Really?! I was again hooked to eagerly anticipate what's gonna happen next. I admit there are tropes I would be easily pulled to, such as lovers' meeting again after a long break-up. I feel blessed to know two wonderful websites full of marvelous stories revolving around two people and the characters they have played. And every day, new ideas and new stories about them manifest in the form of inspired words. And for now, the reading is an on-going, delicious journey with newness every day.

蓝田日暖

I open my eyes with a clear mind, and feel glad that I can do whatever I like in a bright, warm, comfy, convenient space. On my way to the cafe, I begin to loop 再见苏三, a mixted song and obviously I am amazed at the opera part--what a beautiful singing style. I so enjoy the unique round timbre of this singer when she sings her part. My ears and heart resonate with these angelic human voices.

I always get my favorite seat. Before I start writing something, I recline on the sofa chair, comfortably. I breathe deeply and deliberately, feeling the present serenity of my mind. I sense every part of my body, from head to toe, and to my satisfaction, there is not a bit sourness and pain. It is fully relaxed and lighthearted. Clear-minded, flexible, and energetic, my body keeps assisting me well in all kinds of activities.

Music is still going on, and the specific aura, or feel, of this song almost inspires me to light a cigarette, though I don't smoke. It's just, scenes like this would make a perfect match to this bgm: Someone lights a cigarette in the dark evening, staring at the sparks, and his mind wanders to another world, a world full of peace and warmth.

I straighten my back, take a sip of hot black coffee, and put my fingers on the keyboard. I decide to count my new blessings:

I am a frantic story reader and watcher. I keep on attracting colorful stories of different genres. When well-designed characters live their lives in specific times and scenarios, my emotions would get up and down with the plot, I feel alive, interested, curious and eager. I get to know more clearly about what I want and like. I may want to incorporate some aspects of a character, in terms of his/her personality traits or attitudes toward life, into my perspectives of the world. I may fall in love with the pure strong love one character holds for the other. I may be inspired to search for information and data about a particular time or dynasty. I may encourage myself get into the scene and ask myself: What would I feel in that place? Standing with the audience in the spacious square and listening to this girl in hanfu elegantly playing the guzheng and filling my ears with a new version of 悬溺, a unique song so popular online, an extremely impressive song that can match almost every love themed mvs...

蓝田日暖

Unconditional Lightheartedness

A thing bothered me, and I felt bad. A wonderful chance for me to practice unconditional lighthearthedness.

Every moment, I am focused upon something, which would absolute cause certain emotion within me. So it's important to ask me: What I am focused upon now? Does this focus feel good or not? Feel a little better than the previous focus or a little worse, or about the same?

I focus upon my breath. I am easily breahing in and out now. I feel comfortable from head to toe, no pain, no sourness, no discomfort at all. After the breakfast, I make myself a cup of hot coffee. I pour it into my green-and-white thermos to keep it hot.

I sit before my computer and the AOC screen offers me vivid and high quality vision, and so I enjoy watching movies or dramas on it. I recline on the chair, open Netease Clous Music software and start playing R&B songs with my eyes closed. I deliberately, purposefuly ask myself to create some healing and soothing pictures in my mind's eye. And music helps this practice. I see two white and grey waterbirds gliding over the spacious river. The dark-green, waving, alive river loved by people and cute creatures. A fisherman is sleeping in his camoufalge tent while his girl friends sits on the camping chair, playing on her phone and glancing at the fishing rods. A man with glasses enjoys his green tea and melon seeds, facing the long and wide robust river. Tall trees with lush heart leaves welcome who walk under. My skin is warmed by the afternoon sunlight...

I open my eyes, take a sip of the coffee, and wander leisurely on the Internet. One thing leads to another. I listened to a new audio drama and got interested in the novle which it was adapted from. I easily find it and get my mind hooked. Reading stories is different from listening to audio stores, and both are wonderful experiences. In the reading, I again identify loveliness of abundant kinds in characters and their interactions. I like emotional stability, independence, solution orientation, wisdom of self help, kindness, gentleness, patience, allowance, holding the vision persistently, passion, persuing dreams stubbornly, not giving a rip about what any other thinks, tenderness, unhinged confidence, laid-backness, not sweating the small stuff, always looking forward and moving forward and not resting on one's laurels, frankness instead of guardeness or defensiveness, beliving in others' bright future and unlimited potential, humor, love for self and family, etc.

I appreciate myself for continually appreciating people in my life and so now it beomes quite easy for me to feel good when I think of them like my family members. He, this cute, handsome, curious and passionate kid, just had a cool haircut. He is so loved by his parents. He and his father has fun often under abundant conditions. They together piece together legos. His father answers patiently his questions out of curiosity and supports him in sports he is truly interested in. He naturally follows what interests him. He happily shares with people what he loves. He talks nonstop with bright eyes. He has a fast mind and he knows how to please himself with his original imagination. He is a powerful being. Both my parents like harmony. And they have harmony most of the time. They support each other. They are willing to do a lot of things for each others. They share some same interests and they can chat in happiness. They are loving parents and grandparents. They can demonstrate unparalleled patience in taking care of kids. They have their shared and respective friend circles. Sometimes, they are independent emotionally and physically. They are busy with their own acitivities. They have things they enjoy on their own. My mom would sing on a mic at home with no audience and enjoys it. She would spend a large quantity of time making sauce and snacks because she likes it. She likes sending out self-made snacks to relatives and friends...

I always have abundant free time to do what I love. I always put myself in a bright, comfy, convenient, perfectly spacious space. I know what play extremely important roles in my life. I try my best to have them in my life, but I continually hold the hope when they are not yet in my life. I would never live without music. Music is part of my life, as well as stories...

蓝田日暖

I had dreams of mixed feelings last night, which let me know more clearly what I desire and what I should do to myself.

Everybody is unique. My life experience led me to my unique path, hopes, desires and dreams. In most cases, comparison wouldn't do any good to me now, thought in a few cases, it helps me clarify what I newly desire NOW. My power is now, not in the past. I have been moving in the direction of what I desire, slow or quick, I have been doing what I myself choose to do. I make my own decisions. I hold onto my clarity and vision. I make the best of where I am, and keep on enjoying my journey to my dreams. This way, both the journey and the result are satisfying to me. I like the feeling of love. And in relationships, I have been cultivating all along my appreciation of people, especially my family and friends. And it works very well for me. When I think of them, often I feel good, I smile. I try my best to do what I like almost all the time. When I have to do what I don't like, I make peace and remind myself again and again it's temporary and I will get what I desire. I ponder upon and set my priorities on things I do now and on my finances. I like living a comfortable, satisfying and pleasing life, thought sometimes drama helps me too.

I like counting my blessings. I notice that I always walk fast without any tiredness. I can easily be soothed and pleased by natural beauty. I like obversing the river and its inhabitants and its lovers. I like the ancient-style waterside pavilion with its brass bells hanging from the flying eaves. I like the puppy buddies sniffing around and leading their master. I like the soft, sleek, fully reeds raising their heads above the stone railings. I like the morning, noon and afternoon sunlight on a cold winter day, shining upon my skin and warming me up. I like the water bird perching on the end of the small fishing boat, grooming its feathers. I notice that the music I am playing is a perfect match to the scenes my eyes are observing along the river. I know how to use my imagination about nature to feel good now. I can look at the brown horses galloping on the unlimited grassland, while a flock of fluffy sheep bleating. White, pink and purple flowers on their slender stems are slightly dancing in the wind, facing the sun. I feel blessed to easily fill my sense perceptions with lush beauty.

I like desired abundance flow to me easily and accompany me on and on. I am healthy. I am clear-minded, flexible and energetic. Actually, every part of my body works well for me. I do what I like with great freedom, always in bright, comfy, convenient physical spaces. I own consecutive free time to do what I like in a very focused manner. My ears, mind and body enjoy beautiful songs every day. I live fully my life and deliberately open myself up more and more by observing what is happening in my life. I have been replacing old, limited thoughts with new more beneficial thoughts in my belief system...

蓝田日暖

This morning I ate an ear of corn, sweet. Last evening, I got myself a bag of salty dried bean curd and spicy biscuits. As usual, I put a cup of hot coffee on the left side of the table. I sat comfortbly on the chair, exploring a story. There was nothing strong going on in my emotional world: I understood the characters. An upright, caring gentleman with clear intentions. A cute girl who just embarked on the journey of getting a lead role in a TV series. It's a very popular drama, but it seemed not my type, or it was not for the present me.

I washed and blow-dried my hair deliberately in a mindful state. My mind was not busy thinking. I slowly and gently treated my hair until it was totally dry and smooth. I continually have the satisfying hair quantity--old hair leaves while new hair keeps on growing. It's such a good balance. I then put my feet in warm water and massage them a bit before I went to bed. For a long time, I rarely thought about body related things like eating, drinking and excercising. I do it as I like. I eat and drink what I like. I may go out walking or not. But still, my amazing body works so well for me from head to toe, every day. It recovers quickly from any discomfort. What pleases me most is that some parts are getting better and better at perceiving information fast. My ears hear and understand faster and faster. My eyes read and understand faster and faster.

When the audio stories come out from the phone, loud, I know immediately this would not be the desired sound environment for me. I can say: Please turn it down. It may work or not. It may make the other uncomfortable. Or I can leave and find a better sound environment for myself if I can. And I can and I choose the latter. The more I know aobut myself and my preferences, the quicker I can notice whether it's a good idea for me to stay where I am or continue the thing I am doing now. I don't need to wait for others to change. I don't drag it too long until something unhappier happens. So when I have the choice, I choose the most pleasing sound environment where my mind can more easily.

Never would I feel so sure that I prefer certain sound elements when some very uncomfortable sounds circle my ears. Then I may acknowledge that: I prefer quietness. I prefer gentle music on the background. I prefer light conversations of strangers. In a word, I prefer a sound environment where I can easily focus upon what I choose as I like. My mind is not bothered by the sounds. My emotional world is not disturbed by the sounds.

I like opening up my mind and exploring new thoughts. I like pondering upon new thoughts and considering turning them into my new beneficial beliefs. I like making the best of where I am. I like being honest with myself, with my present abilities and with things I may not be able to do though I want to. I like soothing myself in any way I can when I feel discouraged. I like quieting my mind by focusing upon my breathing. I like purifying my mind with beautiful songs. I like sipping coffee and reading an interesting novel. I like watching cute, lovely videos and smiling a big smile. I like imagining poetic natural scenes in my mind's eye. I like appreciating and focusing upon positive aspects of people. I like living my life with great ease. I like noticing the neatness, comfort, convenience, safety and spaciousness of this city, this community, this cafe and this house. I like...

蓝田日暖

He came with two black lines on his face, I was a bit worried and his father said it's the trace of sweat--he just finished his basketball class.

He dragged me to the corner and began to talk to me. At first, I didn't know what he was talking. He said it's about game.

"A new game? What's the name?" I asked.

"The same game, but I arrived at the new level."

"Okay! What happened?" I looked at him, curiously.

How interesting as soon as we got together, he would jump into the conversation of game. I know why. He wants to share his passion with people around him, and I, sure, am the one who demonstrates great interest, though I don't know the details of the game. Actually, I never got interested in any of those so-called big or popular games. However, I easily understand the attraction and positive aspects of games. I even can add my opinions and discuss with him about the creativity and cool images within the game. And he would nod and tell me which parts he sees as original and imaginative.

When he talks incessantly with such bright eyes, one thing I am sure, he has been building positive momentum of things he loves, and I am so willing to be the curious and patient listener. Just knowing that this conversation makes longer his happiness, I feel very happy too.

He is such a wonderful, amazing focuser of what he loves. He keeps on following what interests him. He naturally acts upon his passions. He is imaginative and creative. He is able to easily let go of people's nagging and still focuses upon what he chooses now. He naturally likes talking about what he loves, likes, gets interested, and excites his mind. We feel blessed to have this happy handsome boy in our lives.

蓝田日暖

突然想起小时候的一些趣事，经常会在网上看到人说自己是dog people，谁谁是cat people。自从我家的狗走了以后，我们几个小孩对养动物就都没了兴趣，因为害怕失去，害怕面对离别的痛苦。慢慢的，对狗也谈不上有多喜欢了。但硬是要说的话，那我还是属于dog people吧。后来家里没再养狗，却多了只猫，我硬是没有生出多少感情，一方面是我在外面上学回家很少，另一方面，额，在本身没有感情的基础上，她也不需要我喂，而且超级独立自由，进进出出，见面就不多，连被动培养感情的机会都没多少。

她是一只白猫，如果是黑猫的话，搞不好晚上碰到，会吓得我一激灵，让我想起童年时期那双把我们吓得尖叫的绿莹莹的眼睛。那时候，香港电影流行，村里专门租录像带，大概是每隔一天通过电视给我们放香港电影。选片的人应该没有考虑过恐怖片算不算少儿不宜，反正是照放不误，电视剧《绝代双骄》都能把我吓到做噩梦，更别说一些经典恐怖片对我们的影响了。那时候的港片营造诡异氛围的能力绝不可小觑。

有那么一天，大人不在，我们三姐弟聚在客厅——应该说休息室更合适一些，客厅在外面。里面靠墙围着一圈沙发，一扇大窗户正对着后院，我们在一起吃东西，聊天，顺便等父母回家。仅仅一天，夜晚就便恐怖了好几分，都怪昨天看的香港电影，我和老姐不禁想起电影中那只诡异的黑猫，以及那位有着天使面孔却散发着灵异气息的少女。我们一边讨论，一边觉得毛骨悚然起来，老弟在一旁管自己吃东西，听不懂我们在说什么。突然，一声猫叫吸引了我们的注意力。不是吧！我俩的脖子像灌了铅，僵硬地往后转，正好对上了一双眼睛，一只几乎与周围环境融为一体的黑猫，正无比专注地盯着我们看。我俩惊叫起来，转头跑向门边，老弟被我们的情绪感染，也尖叫起来，跟着我们一起狂奔。我们逃到客厅，确定大门已经锁紧，又检查了一遍窗户，就不敢打开过道的门往后走了，如果那里有什么门窗没关好，那只猫跑进来怎么办？那不是找死吗！在那一刻，没有什么是比黑猫更恐怖的存在物，我们不能冒那个险。我们就瑟瑟发抖呆在客厅，焦急地等待大人回家。。。。。。

那应该是我第三次被恐怖影视剧和恐怖故事吓到，第一次做噩梦，第二次整夜未眠，第三次被一只猫吓个半死，从那以后我几乎不接触恐怖题材的影视剧和小说。

蓝田日暖

她安静地躺在床上，额头饱满，脸孔变得越来越清秀了。裹在藏青色的连体棉袄，她表情平和，应该没在做梦。大人都已经吃好饭，只剩小的那个在艰难扒饭，眉头皱得能夹死苍蝇，我坐过去，他连饭都不想嚼了，转头和我说起了什么灌篮军团。他老爸看起了手机，诱哄他吃完就给他买饮料，引来其他大人的一致反对，什么不健康啦，浪费钱啦，不以身作则啦。

我稍微琢磨了一下，主动让他们先走人，睡着的那个，我管个两小时应该没问题。不就是换尿片，喂奶吗，又不难。我的自信不被认可，他们觉得我照顾不来。好吧，这事不像其他议题，需要我竭力证明自己行，商量的结果是，还是由她爸妈带走。和醒着的她待的时间总计不足一刻钟，不过机会有的是，我期待看她咯咯笑，咿咿呀呀学说话。

还好瑞幸还营业，下午点了杯烤椰拿铁，断断续续地看着《低谷医生》第四集，看到老套情节就立刻2倍速。不久，家人开始打扫卫生，如果没记错，那个地方他前两天刚清理过。有那么一刻，我怪他过于勤劳，显得我懒。靠，电光火石间，我意识到这种想法是多么无益，不自由，不加管理便会滋生更强的控制欲——希望别人改变他们的性格、意图和言行举止，好让自己舒服。想通了，我选择了继续做自己的事。大家共享一个空间，各干各的，互不干扰。

看了几个钱信伊的单口相声，看得感同身受哈哈大笑的时候，又有那么一丝丝内疚。因为他说的是如何通过电话指导远在新加坡的老妈删除网络评论，因为她老妈用的是真名，一番操作下来，直接把他崩溃了，拔高了好几个度的语气中透着浓浓的绝望。这让我想到自己，有时候拿着父母的手机时，也会这样控制不住地大声起来，过后又会自责，毕竟我本意是想耐心平和地帮他们解决问题的。不屑一顾和暴躁似乎是钱信伊好些段子的特色，我发现在特定情绪状态下听，会让自己感觉好一些，仿佛通过他释放了一些负面情绪。

昨晚，父母忙活了一晚上，亲手做了好多冻米糖，分装在袋子里，打算在接下来的几天送给亲戚朋友，再加一些他们自己种的蔬菜。他们习惯这么做，也乐在其中。偶尔，还会有亲戚催他们做牛肉酱和辣酱，因为他们做的比市场上买的要香很多、好吃很多。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

He is changing the diaper for his daughter, while his son is eating something spicy. This cute, happy boy becomes red on his face, not thinking about taking a sip of water on his right side, but continue his eating. How interesting! I would eat a little spicy food, but as soon as it causes certain physical sensations, I would stop, I don't feel the food tasty anymore. Actually, I can live my life without any chillies. However, there are people like him, who loves spicy food with a face full of sweat, even jumping around because of the stimulation. What variety in the world of eating and drinking! I always prefer very hot beverages in the winter, while my friend sees warm water as too hot which needs to cool down.

His wife comes after the meal with her colleagues, and then he begins to search on his phone, "How about going to the shop; I see that coat is available again and we can buy it for our son." Their son doesn't care much about clothes, let alone fashion, but they do. They want him to look handsome and cool.

I walked outdoors to buy coffee at night. The speech I listened reminded me the importance of deliberate focus based upon emotions. It's about comparison: revenge feels better than depression; neutral state feels better than complaints; calmness feels better or is similar to netural state. And looking back, for a long period of time, I stayed in a place less than interest and more than blame/complaint, by watching dramas. I kept on watching, filling my mind with the stories, though I was not attracted to the plot, I didn't feel obvious interest. I was just killing time that way. Which turned out very beneficial for me, because I was not invested in any worrisome thoughts, though there were many reasons for me to do so. From there, I got to embark on the journey of feeling more and more interested in different aspects of life, including stories. And now, I am extremely interested in abundant kinds of stories in the form of movies, dramas, documentaries, travelling vlogs, gourmet food vlogs, novels, and programs of specific genres.

Feeling better is important for me and for my beloved ones. So when he was complaining about somebody, instead of saying that you shouldn't, or thinking that it's not a good thing for him to complain, I was pondering: Who knows? Maybe he just got to this state from strong anger, actually he was deliberately or naturally feeling better this way, and by venting like this, it would become easier for him to get back to calmness. And thent to other better feeling states where he can see the world with a more positive, allowing, loving attitude. Maybe a short while later, he would discover the loveliness again in the people he previously blamed, like what had happened many times before...

蓝田日暖

新年快乐！

说说味觉体验。

这两天包了春卷和饺子，饺子因为是肉馅的一个没吃，春卷主要吃了素菜馅，香脆咸鲜，很不错。

这几天最喜欢吃的几道菜是：用陶罐炖到熟透的鸭肉，尤其是鸭脖、鸭肫和鸭肝。在腐竹、芹菜、黑木耳等一众素菜中加入盐和麻油调味而成的凉拌菜，特别香，腐竹既入味又有嚼劲。同样有韧性且好吃的是蒜炒白素鸡。

车厘子。可能是因为今年我的耐酸能力大滑坡，本来很喜欢吃的车厘子得呲着牙吃，感觉过酸了，前段时间吃橘子和耙耙柑也是这反应，水果酸有点难顶。

瑞幸咖啡店还在营业，我带了两个保温杯，带回家的咖啡，一杯自己喝，一杯父母平分，他们几乎不喝咖啡，看结果，老爸接受度颇高，我想起之前买的白咖啡，其实他也泡来喝着。

家门口的小超市终于又来了五香牛肉风味的合味道杯面，我最喜欢这个味，咖喱味次之，其他都不喜欢。我喜欢这种杯面的设计，调味料直接撒在里面，撕开外包装里面还有个小盖子，泡起来特别方便。

我觉得麻油是神器，老妈那道招牌凉拌菜如果少了麻油，口感必然下降一半。这么说来，我应该是比较喜欢特定香气的调味料，比如吃火锅时，我的蘸酱里一定会有花生酱和芝麻酱，有了这两样，似乎一切涮料都变得美味了。

蓝田日暖

我带她去抓娃娃机，说了几句话，意识到自己在无用地说教，就住嘴了。毕竟，我也就抓到过一两个娃娃，装什么成功人士。我转过头看手机，让她自己玩。没想到，小家伙还挺厉害，第一轮抓到了两个玩偶，成就感爆棚，不停说她喜欢那两个玩偶，还说今天收获满满。我们去KFC吃了点东西，去广场上闲逛了一圈，本来想让她骑旋转木马的，结果人还没开业，只好又转回超市。这时候，九点已过，一楼有个店铺开了门，多了好几排娃娃机，她又发现了新目标，我买了二十个游戏币，让她自己玩。很快，我发现有个姑娘站她旁边认真看她玩，应该是店主。奇怪了，这应该不用监督吧，怕小娃儿不自在，我本来想过去说一声，但看到小家伙投入玩耍顾不上其他，就觉得没有那个必要。而且，我确实有几分好奇，好像有什么有趣的事要发生。果然，两分钟后，这姑娘打开了娃娃机的玻璃门，把一个粉色心形小抱枕放到了靠出口处。嗯？！她在干啥，事情发生得突然，我还没品出味。等小娃儿篮子只剩两个游戏币，这姑娘又打开玻璃门去折腾那个抱枕时，我瞬间知道了答案：她正在想方设法让小娃儿抓到那个抱枕呢！最后，小娃儿没让我们失望，用光了最后两个游戏币，终于拿到了她想要的。当然，是在那位可爱店主的帮助下。我本想叫她感谢那个阿姨，但是在出口时还是改成了让她谢谢那个姐姐。

在回去的路上，小娃儿问我那姐姐为什么要那么做呢？

"看你可爱呗！"

“是吗，因为我可爱吗？”

“哈！应该不是。她应该就是想来抓娃娃的顾客能在新年抓到自己想要的。她想要帮忙。她想要看到他们开心。有时候人就是希望看到别人开心。你有时候是不是也愿意帮助别人，希望看到他们开心？”

“是啊。”

蓝田日暖

Good that we live near the shopping mall where there are a lot of bakeries, restaurants and facilities for children. She stood at the claw machine, while I got 20 coins. She figured out how to successfully play by herself and got two cute toys. Then we went to the KFC, picked what we wanted to eat: I drank coffee, ate a piece of chicken toast, and she enjoyed strawberry ice cream and popcorn chicken. A short while later, we went again to the claw machine and with the help of the lovely shopkeeper, my niece got her favorite, heart-shaped cushion. The next day, I took her to the Costa Coffee and bought two pieces of cake for her. One was strawberry flavored and the other was tiramisu. In the cafe, we met an extremely cute girl who was five years old, and they had happy conversations with each other. And the girl automatically came to me and put a piece of chewing gum on my table. This girl is so loved by her mom and always she wears beautiful clothes sometimes hanfu. I like seeing her.

I just bought a one-month vip of iqiyi so that I can watch 南来北往 with flying comments. I enjoyed this TV series specially for its lighthearted and often funny conversations. And I also loved its vivid, nolstalgic settings. And I appreciate that the main lead is someone who can see the hardship often through a lighthearted lens. And he just doesn't give up his dreams.

He might had a quarrel with one of his family members. When my parents talked about this in a worrisome tone, I didn't feel any of that. Because I see that as part of the life: Quarrelling can happen and sometimes they are not a bad thing. And they are not the end. I had big fights with my parents too and then later on, we always went back to harmony. I couldn't say that we won't quarrel in the future, I accept that if that has to happen, but I don't see that as an end whatever--my strong intention would always bring me back to appreciating them again and again. There are always ways for us to understand, let go and make peace again. This is life, especially when we show our emotions directly, that the quarrel is almost inevitable. I have noticed that I do become more and more allowing and strongly wanting to believe in/trust the bright future of my beloved ones no matter what. Why? Other wise, I suffer. Without belief in the wellbeing of my beloved ones, thinking that they are doomed to suffer, or that what they have done would only lead them to a worse and worse journey, I must suffer, I couldn't feel good. So I have been cultivating positive attitudes toward life and people as much as I can. I am blessed that my life experience has shown to me that human beings acutally can be really powerful and resilient.

I appreciate people in my life who are so different from me, because they greatly expand my mind and open up my heart, helping me discover limited beliefs and then change them deliberately. When I am sensitive to the thoughts that say they should do that or they shouldn't do that, often I would immediately discover the double standard in my belief system and then I could laugh at myself in a lighthearted way, and decide to let go of some, not usefuly any more, thoughts. From there, my world would open a bit more. And then, a bit more. This opening-up keeps going on.

...

蓝田日暖

Things are working out for me.

One of my favorite fan fiction just updated and so I can soon enjoy it. I so appreciate the writer for her talents and her love of the couple.

I like the unique identity as an adult as compared to the kid. I like being the one who takes them to play, to acknowledge their happiness and feel happy for them, and to have meaningful conversations with them on the spot, and to be the willing cooperative partner in their lives.

My body keeps on working well for me. My mind is clear. My mind works faster and faster. I read and understand faster. I listen and understand faster. I think faster. My eyes see clearly. My ears hear clearly. I speak clearly. I walk fast. I breathe easily. I rest and sleep well. I feel comfortable from head to toe. Every part of the body is robust and healthy.

I keep on having free consecutive, abundant time to do what I like. I always put myself in bright, comfy, convenient, lovely physical space. I attract beautiful new songs. I enjoy music purely. I set gentle songs as bgm when I think and write. I ponder upon subjects I am recently interested in. I watch lighthearted dramas with funny conversations. I watch stand-ups and laugh. I explore and expand my thoughts on abundance, including financial abundance. I sip hot coffee. I say hello to the cute little girl, observing her walking over and putting a piece of chewing gum on my table. I browse on some shorts and favorites some of them. I close and rest my eyes, and deliberatley think thoughts in my mind. I notice that my thoughts on the subject of relationships naturally expand.

My computers, laptops, tabloid, smartphone, earphones/headphones, mobile discs, the portbable charger, and the laptop and phone holders are all working extremely well for me. I benefit almost every by Netease Music Cloud app, Baidu Netdisc app, Iqiyi and bilibili. I have access to all desired Internet resources. I am extremely abundant in resonating songs, inspiring and guiding speeches, funny stand-up, interesting dramas and novels, and mind-opening news/information/data.

This afternoon, I was inspired to take a long walk, heading for the lake. Of course with music. The song list I had subscribed for maybe more than one year actually is an ever updating one, a combination of some old songs and some new songs. It's such a perfect match with the views I saw with my eye and my bodily movements. And it is an international songlist, including mandarin, Korean, cantonese, Vietnamese, and Thai songs. I just let my mind wander in all kinds of beauty, other than the music and the natural view. I remembered how I got onto this amaizng world of the cp because of movie. Then one thing led to another, I joined in a wonderful group of cute, creative and passionate fans and their amazing creations like novels, videos, etc. I also deliberately thought about lovely people and lovely interactions in my life, such as that cute little girl in the cafe who wears a snow-white fluffy coat and a horse-face skirt, coupled with an ancient hairstyle. I was really multitasking during the walk. My eyes enjoy the beauty, my ears enjoy the beauty, my mind focus upon the beauty deliberately activated, and every part of my body exercises because of the fast walking.

...

蓝田日暖

小女孩把一小截口香糖放我桌上，嘱咐我先把甜的吃掉，不甜了就吐掉，不能吞到肚子里，我点点头。昨天的她打扮得比较西式，今天则特别中式，而且是较古代的中式，顶着两个发髻，上身是白色上窄下宽的毛绒大衣，下面是黑红亮色、纹绣精致的马面裙。她妈妈特别喜欢打扮她，感觉每天穿的都是新衣服。

今天换上了新的球鞋，之所以穿它，最核心的原因是：既然在了，该穿还是穿吧，放旧了总不好吧。没错，我的心态就是这样的无所谓，衣服鞋帽包对我来说，抵达一定数量，够必要的换穿就行，买新的也好，换新的也罢，很难再激起我的兴奋感。正因如此，在现实生活中，会有一些搞笑的场景发生，身边的人对我穿什么要比我热情许多，而为了减少麻烦，减少相关的对话，我会完成任务一样地新买些什么。

下午突然想到什么，问小娃儿他爸他什么时候开学，有空的话让我和他玩一下。好久没和他好好玩耍了，在家附近的商场里，让他玩想玩的，吃想吃的，然后我们可以在咖啡店坐一会，我在电脑上做点什么，他可以在我的手机上玩游戏，挺好。我喝热咖啡，他可以喝一杯水果茶。

回到家，竟然在电脑桌上看到了一个饱经风霜的快件。外包装上脏得很，没记错的话，最近我没有网购。拿起来看一下，还真是好玩，失而复得，一两个月前没找到的快递，现在又出现了。

靠坐在沙发上，看《南来北往》，一边看一边想：北方人说话都这么逗吗？互怼都这么搞笑吗？总的来说，我还是比较喜欢汪新的人设的，基本不玻璃心，别人的难听话不怎么往心里去，遇到挫折能较快回复心态，会努力主动争取自己想要的。心虽然不算细，经验不足目前还容易受骗，但胆子够大，愿意吸取教训，愿意学习与成长，愿意为了群众不顾自身危险往前冲，是当火车乘警的料。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

洗衣机还在响，离出门还有十五分钟。

我靠坐下来，戴上耳机，在网易云上点了“我喜欢的”歌单，这两天大概点赞了七八首歌，有两三首老歌。一开始想的是把它们当背景乐，而我的焦点则在思考上。但很快，我就懒得思考了，开始听歌，并且是那种沉浸式、探究式、图像式听歌。音乐元素把我给360度全包围了，我听觉往左，听到了很轻的贝斯，几秒后我的脑后响起了京剧，瞬间一个模糊的花脸形象出现在我的脑屏里，没多久，古筝在我右耳奏起，而一直未曾停歇的底色音是架子鼓的敲击声，以及节拍器的有节奏运动。下一首，依旧是动人的歌曲，那是理所当然的，毕竟我只点赞收藏自己喜欢的歌曲。这次的伴奏是比较经典的中西乐器组合——笛子与钢琴，没记错的话陈悦和某位知名钢琴家曾合作过一首有名的纯乐。我听了加州梦游、瓮、笔墨登场、星河水手和莫愁莫愁等歌曲。

夜已深，我走在回家的路上，在音乐的陪伴下，久违地打量起了周围，最吸引我注意的是三个一列、两个一组的简约红灯笼，一根柱子上挂六个，六六大顺，好彩头。视线再往上移，我看到了高悬的那一轮弯月，静静地俯视着众生。月圆月缺，管它是何形状，月亮永远是诗人的灵感之源。绿化带里的树开花了，凭记忆我知道这是粉色的花，应该是梅花吧，或者是早开的桃花？这几天天气暖和，夜风抚触带来的是舒适，而不是寒冷。不多不少的车辆在宽阔的双向车道上行驶，行人很少，环绕我的是整洁而充足的空间，这就够了，如果我想要欣赏美景，天马行空的想象力可以轻松带我去往我想去的。必要的整洁和空间是我的日常所需，幸好我生活的地方，这两个要素可以轻易满足。

我盘腿坐在床上，笔记本搁在迷你折叠桌上，我的十指正快速在键盘上移动着，突然她用超高的音量对我说起话来。怎么回事？我看向她，明白应该是耳机令她如此，在看斗罗大陆动画片的她，和说起了什么小五？小五，小五是谁？带着疑惑，我嗯了几声，点了点头，尽管我压根不知道这究竟是个什么故事，这么做无非就是让她分享得愉快一点。直到晚上，我才知道那是小舞，不是小五，而且还有少女版小舞和成年版小舞之分，额……

蓝田日暖

昆明湖，后弦唱的，当背景乐单曲循环中，其实并不知道歌词。

看了几个舞狮短视频，深感震撼。狮尾的举重若轻，狮头对狮尾的信任，两者配合的天衣无缝，以及他们展现的超绝力量、轻盈、矫健和平衡使我毫不犹豫地看一个点赞一个。

看《三大队》，演员演技精湛，人设和场景比较真实，不容易出戏，就是，看着看着会感觉憋屈，压抑。代入了，不是？没办法，有些影视剧很容易代入；另外的嘛，可能会让我进入疯狂吐槽模式，尤其是受到逆天台词轰炸时。还有一些，则是平淡到让人心如止水，不难受，不高兴，不想骂人，也不想吐槽。惊觉眼皮有耷拉的倾向，果断点X。

还是代入式观剧有意思。在看刑侦剧时，代入一把刑警，视角就会不一样。假如我是刑警，我需要具备什么样的知识、技能、体力和工作思路？如果我是认真负责且对破案极具热情的刑警，我会怎样呢？带着这些问题去看《财阀X刑警》，剧情生动鲜活了许多，也对女主父亲的突然开朗感同身受了一把。受到诬陷被迫提前离职的前刑警，回家后成天练习书法陶冶性情，看似古井无波，实则依旧不能放下自己的刑警梦，不想浪费多年积累的破案智慧和经验。难怪在受女儿之托假扮诱饵，与一干在职刑警协力抓捕到犯人后，他会那么兴奋了。做自己喜欢的事就会如此，事情做成功了，更是成就感爆棚。

蓝田日暖

小女孩不想穿衣服，似乎是把衣服甩在了地上，她妈妈生气了，先是在她的屁股上啪啪啪拍了好几下，然后打了她的嘴巴，她立刻哭了起来。我很震惊，打脸，包括打嘴巴在我的世界里是一件非常严重的事。家人也曾这样对待他的孩子，那一刻，我和父母都呆住了，反应过来立刻表达了我们的不满。“你干嘛打脸，你怎么回事！”我们小时候也挨打过，但都打在腿上和屁股上，用巴掌打脸这件事，反正在我看来是异常严重且糟糕的，看见了会难受。

收了个包裹，深吸口气，拆了包装，对着微信照片，点了数量，拍了杂志照发给她。提前忍住了吐槽的欲望，提醒自己，人各不同。正因为人各不同，这世界才精彩，不是吗？我对实体照片、书籍和明星周边毫无兴趣。我可以购买电子小说，我可以打赏作者，但我很难产生购买实体书的欲望，更别提诸如印着明星照片的扇子、纸袋这类东西了。人容易有种倾向，反正我有，对于自己不能理解的事情，容易评判，容易吐槽，容易无效提问：为什么呢？为什么她会买这些东西呢？这究竟有什么意义呢？而通常情况下，答案超级简单：她喜欢；千金难买人喜欢。换位思考，她可能也很想问我：你为什么要在网易云、b站、爱奇艺和小说网站买会员呢？因为她没有这些，她不感兴趣，估计也理解不了。

最简单的答案当然还是：我喜欢。但我清楚更具体的原因。

买网易云会员是因为我必须每天听歌。网易云上有来自全球的海量优质音乐，且有丰富的音效和歌单选择，很适合我，作为老会员，我觉得很满足，也就懒得去探索其他音乐软件了。

买视频网站的会员是因为有时我喜欢开着弹幕看剧，有种和偏好相近的一群人扎堆边看边唠嗑的感觉，时不时屏幕上还会爆出一两个超级搞笑的弹幕，进一步增强视听乐趣。我就像这样看了《唐朝诡事录》、《狂飙》、《成化十四年》和《封神榜第一部》。今天，则开着弹幕看完了节奏较快的《扫黑·决战》。

雨干脆利落地下着，光听声音就知道不小，我仿佛看到了垂直的细小雨柱正击打着略微伸出的窗沿和楼后的那些长青树。我稳稳抱着她，缓步来到窗边，“听吧，我们来听雨声。”她的眼睛很大，黑白分明，点漆般的眼瞳正好奇地挪移着，正用五感探索着这个世界。

蓝田日暖

我用两倍速看了雷探长的几期节目，谈不上多有兴趣，但还是有一些感触。

当内蒙古二连浩特的小商场摊主说起蒙古国的慢节奏工作生活作息时，我的感觉一点都不是：那很好啊，慢悠悠的。我的第一反应是：那我很可能适应不了，整个城市九点甚至更晚才开始活跃，大部分店铺都没开门，还是不方便。如果在互动过程中，或者合作时，对方也是慢动作的话，我估计会很不耐烦，毕竟不像看电视，可以给他们主动加速。

在黎巴嫩那期节目里，雷探长拜访了一户叙利亚难民的家，他们的生活基本是由联合国难民署安排的。听到男主人说有12个孩子时，我的眉头不由自主蹙了起来，尤其看到那家徒四壁的场景时。为什么呢？12个，在这样的环境里？男主人的回答是，他们把孩子视为上天赐予的礼物。除了这个回答，我可以想象出很多其他的理由，有一两个甚至很积极，但究竟为何，只有他们自己知道了。至于这12个小孩，谁知道呢？也许其中有的孩子在成年后会说，这样的家庭环境对他/她而言利大于弊，使他/她早早独立，早早寻找自己的力量，早早明确自己的梦想……一切皆有可能。

我坐在沙发边，看着她明亮的眼睛，和她说话。老妈开始了人生大道理的讲述，那些字句在我的脑子里轻飘飘略过，有些好笑，但我也懒得反驳。不说话，她停嘴会停得快些。“如果你不现在怎样怎样，你以后就会后悔。你看别人怎样怎样，多幸福啊！……“这样老套的话术，就是用不够呢。你倒是认认真真想想，人家的幸福是我的幸福吗？真的和我有毛线的关系吗？我什么时候表现过对那些事的一丁点兴趣？什么逻辑，什么自信，会让你觉得那些事会让我幸福？如果我说，嘿，那些事不仅不能让我幸福，还会让我痛苦，你怎么回应？极有可能，你的信念体系会让你固执己见：“胡说！怎么可能让你痛苦呢，一定是好事来着……“清醒或者下意识的PUA大师甚至能把你说服了，去做他们认为会让你幸福实际你依旧不喜欢的事。所以你得超有主见，并且完全为自己的主见负责，才能扛得住各种各样的PUA。偶尔，我也会喜欢她说这些话，因为一些狗血的原因，因为太无聊了。风平浪静中，坚持己见，坚定自己的立场本就容易。而在别人的反对下，能够毫不犹豫地说不，能够“你说你的、我做我的、给你个机会体验一把地球不是围着你转的感受”，更带感一点，更有意思一点。

蓝田日暖

说是要走亲戚，我不是太喜欢走亲戚，因为亲戚太多了，一个个走过去真的要很多时间。但今天不一样，阿姨请我们去吃饭，我是自发想去的。原因他们可能想不到，我就是特别想去看看她那据说超级漂亮的孙女，应该算是我的表侄女吧，五六年前见她的时候，还是小小一个呢，具体样貌记不得了，但好看的印象一直留存着。

晚上见到了她，确实漂亮，很像她爸爸。眼睛很大，睫毛纤长，鼻子挺直小巧。这次看到表弟，我突然意识到他是哪一挂的帅哥了，和《封神榜》里的殷郊比较像，有一点混血感，大眼挺鼻，脸部线条利落。

带着姨母笑看一篇小说的番外，差点笑吐，就为了创造两个人相处的机会，作者绞尽脑汁，硬是想出了一种病症，而且发作起来还挺高颜值的疾病，也是够了。这些为爱发电的热情作者无边无际的逆天脑洞让我控制不住笑意，不知道的人以为我在看《东成西就》这样的电影呢。

《扫黑·决战》中张颂文掐住金世佳暴怒的那一幕，我看了两遍，有时候就是喜欢看由实力演员展现的情绪爆发场面。欣赏完毕，我的思路不受控制地转向了另一条道上，我想起了张颂文的白胖小手，继而又想起了另一名演员：同样演技精湛，同样拥有一双超显眼小手的黄轩。你以为这样就完了，还没完，某天他们两个竟然坐在了一起，认真比较研究起了他俩颇负盛名的小胖手。明星手控mv，他们是无缘了，但他们和周迅倒是能因此而关联上，因为周迅的手和他们差不多。

最近偶尔会上微博，主要去一个超话看些更新，无聊之余看了下热搜，很多流量明星的新闻。是什么人在请这些流量明星做各种各样的代言，拍各种各样的影视剧呢？因为什么？因为流量，因为赚钱吧。假如我是某大品牌的负责人，哪怕某个明星不合我眼缘，如果投资分析显示，找他/她做代言可以让销量翻倍，甚至更多，我肯定也会请的。在商言商嘛。

推荐一张网易云上的旧歌单——【R&B】慵懒的感觉非常舒服

爱无言

挺感动的！一个人这里记录书写，忽然觉得这是我很喜欢的，我也可以这样。谢谢你，亲爱的！