家庭是个大课堂

蓝田日暖

煮了包康师傅红烧牛肉面，往里面扔了切好的火腿肠，打了一个鸡蛋用筷子搅散了。端着搪瓷碗，坐到电脑前，结果没吃几口，就觉得有股腥气，显然没有几天前的那碗好吃，尽管做法一样。控制呼吸，快速吃完大半，把剩下的倒进了洗碗池里。也许是放了鸡蛋的缘故吧。

这几天早上吃的是KFC的熏鸡法风烧饼和厚蛋烧培根烧饼，味道都不错，但吃法不同。前者的熏鸡片我是直接揪出来单吃的，因为夹在里面吃，味道太淡了，必须把它独立出来，凸显其滋味。沙拉酱有着浓郁的酸味，但在能接受的范围内。洒了白芝麻的“千层皮”酥脆得很，吃起来咔嚓咔嚓的，但很难干净地吃，总有碎屑掉在桌上和地上。我很爱鸡蛋做的食物，如果没有明显腥味的话；厚蛋烧软软嫩嫩的，带丝丝甜味，不错，至于培根，我基本没注意到它的存在。下午，我点了瑞幸的烤椰拿铁，没敢点生椰丝绒拿铁，因为昨天点的那杯做得太难喝了，简直让我怀疑她们忘了放咖啡，特意打开杯子看了，从色泽上判断应该是加了，但那味道实在是寡淡得让人无语。好在，今天的烤椰很正常。很久没喝奶茶了，昨晚在沪上阿姨买了杯热的血糯米奶茶，喝是喝完了，但完全没有喜欢的感觉，看样子我对奶茶的爱真是告一段落了。

老妈想买面条机，除了可以压饺子皮，切面条外，还可简化其他油炸零食的制作过程。想都不用想，我就知道这类厨具在她手上是不会积灰的，至少在某个阶段会获得高频使用，不像我的咖啡机依旧在角落默默掉泪。还记得豆浆机买后的很长一段时间里，我们的早餐就是香气扑鼻的现磨豆浆配炒粉丝或包子。然而，微波炉是个例外，它遭到了彻底的嫌弃，摆放在离厨房最远的一个房间里。有炒锅，蒸锅，高压锅，插电的白瓷煮锅，要什么微波炉呢？她肯定是这么想的。

她几乎什么菜都能做好，唯独番茄炒鸡蛋，每次都显得有些费劲。就是特别执着，两样食材一定要放在一起炒，炒成糊糊状，一不小心还真炒焦了。味道倒不算差，就是很难给它的卖相打高分。于我，番茄炒鸡蛋是特别的，毕竟高中时期我在食堂得靠它续命，因为只有这道菜，食堂阿姨会仁慈地保留其原味，而不是随手扔几根肉丝进去，还是带些肥肉的肉丝——光是看到，我的食欲就瞬间消失了。不去食堂的时候，我就靠本地一家点心厂的豆沙面包过活，没错，就是这么惨。有人说我上辈子大概是回民，但我还是会吃一些瘦肉。老妈则坚定地认为一定是我小时候吃肥肉吃吐了，从此以后见之色变——所以说，你干嘛喂我吃那么多肥肉呢；本来我可以在这个啥啥菜里都喜欢加点猪肉的世界活得如鱼得水，说不定我还会主动说——这个，用猪油炒，我喜欢猪油，猪油香。好在大学食堂多，选择多，我终于不用再被迫执着于番茄炒鸡蛋了。

蓝田日暖

I heard birdsong outside the window, it's still early, but my mind was moslty awake. I turned on the mini portable lamp on left side to light up the room a bit, so that I could keep clear in the breathing practice. I purposefully focused upon my deep breathing in and out and at the interval, I put my attention upon the tip of my nose. None of them would cause any significant emotional moves in my body, and so my mind got quieter and quieter.

As soon as I got up, I started moving fast in order to finish all the things at home before I went out. While my mind was playing something very different from what my hands were doing. I was thinking about a documentary I watched yesterday when I was brushing teeth, washing dishes and applying toner onto my face.

As walking to the bus station, I watched a vlog talking about Argetina economy. Though not understanding some of the terms the uploader was using, I still felt interested. I keep on following my interests not thinking about much why I get interested. Because I just get interested and this is a sure-footed fact. In the process, I continually collect useful information and data.

He is self-employed and one of the benefits is that he has great freedom in time arrangements. He can go and pick his son up every afternoon. He can have fun with him in a leisure manner, eating something together, or taking him to the amusement park, or piecing together a lego toy. He is rarely supervised by anyone, and he works efficiently in this free-flowing atmosphere. He has already acquired one of the necessary personality traits for the business. He is a people person who likes interacting with, supporting, assisting, and uplifting people with great genuineness. He likes making friends and this is one of the most natural things for him since he was very young. He enjoys what he does and so he wouldn't go through the motions. As time goes by, his confidence and belief in the thriving of his business no matter what become stronger and stronger, because he keeps on learning and growing and self-encouraging and appreciating his customers and remembering his past successes. He holds positive expectation of his business, no matter what others say or no matter what the general market behaves now. He is a powerful, confident and optimistic self-employer.

They respect each other and they have so much to chat with each other. They are talking about harvesting vegetables and how to better salt the large amount of pork. While she cooks, he is very willing to assist. He takes her to work on his scooter every morning. She cooks the supper usually consisting of at least on dish he likes very much. Together, they take care of their grandchildren lovingly. We respect each other, busy with our own things. We feel natural sharing the same space without talking a lot, if it is not needed. Re-activating the love they hold for me which can be evidenced by so many past stories, I become more and more patient, gentle and understanding toward them, letting the atmosphere of allowance surround all of us as much as I can, which feels good to me.

With a cup of hot green tea, I was reading a fan fic and immediately amazed at how "unhinged" the writer was. In a very amusing, cute, impressive way. My heart was filled of great appreciation of her crazy, original imagination and talented writing skills, or better said inspirations. I felt glad that it's a moderately long novel so that I could leave part of it for the future savoring and for now, I was inspired to do another thing. The pull was strong and therefore I surrendered to it.

蓝田日暖

I like walking fast in the evening under the moon, surrounded by sweet spaciousness in this city. Again, I multi-tasked. I moved fast, with some attention on the environment to keep safe, and read a novel on my phone. Fast walking helped me breathe deeply and enhance all functions of my body, a very beneficial, easy-to-act physical exercise.

Soon I arrived at the Luckin at the end of the main street. Luckin offers 9.9-yuan coffee every day, usually once a day. However, there are also other platfroms providing similar coupons. So though I already had a Luckin coffee at noon, I got another one at the price of 9.9 yuan through meituan. I sat down on the grey sofa chair, at the round wooden table. The girl poured the light brown fluid into my thermos, and I insert into it a straw. In this bright, comfy and quiet space, with delicious hot coffee, I began to write something on my mini notebook. I was pondering what I wanted and why I wanted them. I was exploring weather these desires were true, genuine desires of mine or not. I stayed there for one and a half hours and then I headed home. I read a novel on my way there, I explored my desires in the cafe, and then I started listening to some inspiring and clarifying speeches on my way back. I kept my mind interested the whole evening. I really like the freedom of safely walking around day and night in this city.

I grinned ear to ear, amazed at a specific character, the Bking, in the novel. Bkings, in positive terms, are extremely confident, strange behavioral speaking to others, and quite funny. They don't think themselves as funny, but the readers and audiences often find them funny, hilarious and unashamed at all. Sometimes, they would just sacrifice all the comfort, just to be cool, to 装, to be the king of the Bkings. They have their pride and they are obsessed with being Bkings, being extremely cool. I have discovered some cute and funny Bkings in stories. They really behave unusually and therefore excite one's mind with something new, in a good-feeling way. However, their double-faced propensity often put lots of troubles, boulders and  thorns, on their way to true love. Um, good for them--they have to bear the result of their own doings.

Before the girl got onto the car, she said hello to a family of pilgrims. They were eating lunch at the curb, and the young man who could speak mandarin, helloed back with a big smile. Then, he just grabbed two pancakes and handed to the girl, asking her to eat. He soon became the translator between the girl and his parents. It's a long walking journey for them to come her but they were very pious believers and so it's nothing to them. The girl said goodbye to them and gave them some packs of biscuits. On and on, she has been meeting people on the trip and receiving food from the locals--they gave her naans, cheese blocks, fruits, water, etc. Obviously, her geunineness and passion of connecting with people bring to her lots of memorable experiences.

蓝田日暖

It is a sunny day. The air is fresh. The river is wide, alive, jade-like and flowing gently. Some fragrance permeates the space. The robust street accommodates cars of all kinds. People are busy. Shops along the streets have their own styles and the shop keepers like keeping them neat and beautiful. From time to time, the girl comes out of the counter, managing the tables and sweeping the floor. The cafe keeps pristine. He knows what he likes. He likes picking for himself a supportive, quiet, comfy and convenient space where his mind can be highly focused upon what he deliberately chooses, most of which are things he loves doing. He loves being accompanied by coffee and music. He gets used to what he loves, and when he has to do what he doesn't like, he may throw a fit. But immediately he remembers to make the best of where he is, which can help him move faster to what he likes again.

Instead of feeling guarded, giving fear of loss some space, he chooses to dream more, to think more about what he truly wants in his future. Live in a new house and feel more physical freedom? Yes. Let abundance flow to him with greater ease? Yes. Try more gourmet food and savor them more? Yes. Keep on reading what please him, putting a big smile on his face? Yes. Have fun with his beloved family members? Yes. Continually enjoy coffee and music every day? Yes. Quiet his mind and see weather there are some original thoughts coming up? Yes. Count blessings? Yes. Ponder about his new hopes, desires and dreams, and consider why he likes them, consider weather they are his true desires or superficial ones? Yes. Follow his interests without doubting? Yes. Clarify his priorities and spend time and energy according to them? Yes. Put him in others' shoes and open up and get new perspectives about life? Yes. Become more independent, confident, and unconditionally lighthearted? Yes. Continually enjoy the benefit of multitasking? Yes...

I am happy for the abundance in this specific family. They are a mostly happy couple. The parents get happy easily. They share same interests and they have a lot to talk. They have been, as much as they can, filling their weekends and other holidays with memorable experiences, together with their son. The live in a big house and have another one being decorated. Every adult who can drive in this family owns his/her own car and they are skillful drivers. This couple hold gentle and persistent love for their son. They can easily get truly interested in what their son is doing. They play together. They co-create with each other with happy moods. The kid naturally follows what interest him and they don't talk him out of them. Life is fun, interesting to the kid. He likes talking and sharing his stories. He is good at putting his attention upon what he loves so much so that he can easily ignore what are going out of others' mouths. He is happy, confident, persistent in chasing his dreams, robust, flexible and smart. His father is funny, adventurous, and stubborn in his own opinions which influences his son mostly in a beneficial way. His mother is often relaxed and ligthearted almost about anything. They have enough money to live their life in comfortable ways. Most importantly, they know the importance of good moods and have been managing their resources revolving this. Sometimes, they behave like a bunch of kids and the most mature one turns out to be their son...

I make better use of my mobile disc recently. I download beautiful albums and interesting documentaries into it when I am at home where the wi-fi is very fast and stable. Then I can enjoy them when I am outdoors in places where the wi-fi doesn't exist or is not that stable. I jut put into it several albums of Mamamoo, Shinee and Zhang Bichen. It's time for me to feel something new through my ears.

蓝田日暖

I keep on favoriting new albums of fan fictions. It seems that I don't have enough time to read them. But this is a good thing, not a bad thing. When my interest is still alive, I can read part of them every day with the fresh eagerness of reading new parts the next day, the next day, and the next day. I am deliberately arranging my time and energy on a lot of things I am fond of. I don't need to binge watching or reading; I can savor them in a slower, long lasting manner. I don't feel overwhelmed, because I know I ALAWAYS have enough time to continually enjoy them. And so, I really like a long list of things I like doing and then check them off one by one, forever, because there are always new items put onto it, and it's an ongoing experience, or better said, a life style. I just figured out the way of buying extra texts on a novel website. An interesting experience. For mind contents that please me, I am very willing to pay.

I was watching a vlog about life in an African slum which let me know more clearly what I prefer. I immediately counted blessings that were already present in my life, such as: clean drinking water, modern washrooms, spaciousness around me, neatness and order, fresh and healthy air, beautiful views easy-to-find by my eyes, abundant yummy food and drinks--coffee, pancakes, hand-pulled noodles, etc., abundant freedom, access to unlimited Internet resources, sitting comfortably in a wonderful physical space doing what I like, safety in walking around day and night outdoors, and so on. That being said, I would not assume I must be happier than those living there. Because states of being are personal. I can see that some of the locals are  energetic with bright eyes and seem quite happy. I often want to explore the ability of making the best of where one is. So, how would the person in that situation make the best of where he or she is? What kind of blessings would he/she count? ["The sky is crystal clear. I am breathing easily. My body efficiently adapts to where I am. I get to feed myself. I get enough food and water to provide to my body. My mind is free. I can imagine and picture anything in my mind's eye. And I notice when I do so cleverly, I can feel much better, not needing the condition to change. Things can change for the better. Yesterday I offered a favor to a person within one minute and he rewarded me with a very satisfying tip. I like this experience; I expect more of them. Recently the music that DJ in that hut plays please me very much. I like going there and enjoying the music. Soon I could buy a phone with my savings and then it would become much easier for me to find and enjoy beautiful songs. Isn't that wonderful?..."]

My mind got immediately excited as I checked one channel on bilibili. Obviously the couple just sent sugars, a lot of sugars. Whoa! My imagination couldn't catch up with what happened between them. No wonder their stories keep on going beyond the creativity of abundant writers. But then they function as strong impetuses for all the writers to go wild and come up with great, new writing ideas one after another. Can I say that this is a benign cycle? Or a wild cycle? Whatever, I felt extremely happy before sleep catching up with the unfolding.

I really like the girl in one of the KFCs. Because she is so so stable, patient, allowing, considerate. She just sustains this lighthearted attitude of welcoming and appreciating. She likes meeting and treating her customers. She has a soft, gentle voice, never getting impatient. She responds readily to every question from customers. She puts back the sandwich into a warm place seeing that the person hasn't arrive. She wants the customers to get quality food. She sees things positively and I have heard how she gently guides the conversation into a ligthearted trend instead of continual complaining. Obviously she is the model of making the best of where one is. She feels quite satisfied with where she is. Not because this place is extremely satisfying, but because she has this propensity to make everywhere she stays as pleasing as possible. Such a powerful being!

...

蓝田日暖

Yesterday, I explored wheel pies in a nearby new shop and I picked two flavors--bubble tea, and matcha and red bean. Conclusion: Not so good, too sweet, not my type. And the day before, I tried chicken noodles and also not my type. Good to know more about my preferences and now at least I don't need to order the above food, while I can still enjoy fried beef noodles and beef dumplings in the Lanzhou Ramen Restaurant. I would still put sesame sauce, beef sauce, peanut butter, minced garlic and coriander into the bowl, then pour the hot soup, and enjoy almost any vegetable and meat dipped in it in a hot pot. For me, the key is always this bowl of extremely fragrant dipping sauce consisting of these specific elements.

Imagine a fox elegantly walking on a bridge, or a lane of the paddy fields. 有狐绥绥--that seems poetic. I can not directly understand what The Book of Songs is talking, but sound wise, those poems/songs do feel extremely beautiful when you read them, clearly uttering every syllable and pausing rhythmically. Then get a little deeper to try to understand them and picture them in your mind's eye, you may be immediately hooked by the imagination and/or the rounded  affections of these word formations.

Khodny Bein Edeik, a Uzbek song, got from one of 谁是阿尖's vlogs. Feeling gentle and sad, beautiful in its own way. But more beautiful, poetic and meaningful when coupled with 谁是阿尖's photos of those grand, elegant, sophisticated, fantasy-like, ancient mosques and squares in that country. 1 plus 1 is far more than 2. This is synergy.

I woke up at about 4 am with a very clear mind. No nightmare. Okay. I surrendered to this state of being happily and turned on the mini lamp on my left. I decided to ponder something on my mind until I felt sleepy again. I like making the best of my waking hours. Actually I already forget what I thought then, but I still remember that it was a satisfying thinking process. Another time to appreciate my mind and body. My mind or brains work extremely well and efficiently for me. I can interpret information and data much faster now. I often speed up the contents I am watching or listening, otherwise they would seem too slow to me. And therefore I get to do more things than before within the same time segment. I am clear about my preferences of watching, reading and listening. I want to speed up them but still fully get the desired clarity and emotions related. If it's too fast to get them or savor them, I would slow down, because still the clarity and desired feelings are more important. So I rarely speed up the music; but I almost always speed up speeches, and often movies and dramas. I believe that like how Olympic athletes train their bodies to continual extremes, I also can keep on training my mind to be more and more efficient, and more and more multi-tasking. And for now, I see this as an interesting and beneficial practice...

蓝田日暖

I tried caramel latte in the Luckin and immdiately knew that still I prefer coconut smooth latte or roasted coconut latte. No one bothers me, I was in a lovely space with my phone. I kept on reading and finished the 18th chapter. I read it when I was eating too, and it could be given the name 电子榨菜. I like exciting my mind with new stories in abundant forms and novels are one of them. I read faster or even skip a bit when the writer begins to vividly describe some parts such as fighting or one cruely  torturing the other--I'd fastfoward them knowing the general idea, but not getting into details. I could just summarize: They use the most cruel ways to hurt him. As for how, I won't read word by word. But for the funny parts, the cute parts, the beautiful--could be sad and beautiful--parts, I choose to read slowly word by word and even immediately read twice. And I'd say to myself: I like this. I like this sentence. I like this atmosphere...

He is such a beauty. How much time he has saved for these writers. When they want to depict an extremely handsome, or extremely beautiful, or extremely cute, or extremely innocent and frank, or extremely sexy, character, they just resort to him. They writer about his sculpture-like face and physique. What kind of sculptures? Greek sculptures sculped by the greatest sculptors. They write about the mole under his eye, and his obvious dimples flowering every time he smiles. They write about his slightly curly hair. They all agree that his beauty is objective, though others may not agree. As for me, I have the same feeling as they do; I often comment seeing him: Such a great face! I appreciate him because his beauty pleases my eyes, and the characters he played inspired and have been inspiring a lot of writers to create abundant amazing stories which I love dearly.

I have abundant free time to do what I like. I have already known lots of things I love dong and I'm able to do. And so I do them almost every day. I explore new music or pick among the present song lists the most resonating ones to enjoy. I sit comfortably along the river, with a water bird gliding within my vision, reading an interesting story. I feel, and observe and explore my feelings/emotions. When I look at the videos of an uploader, and get a clear conlusion: If I were her, an content creator, a channel owner, I would also like to be creative, inspired, productive and popular. I would like that my creations are loved by lots of people who genuinely appreciate and benefit by my offerings.  Just like what she has demonstrated. I like lightheartedness. I like being lighthearted. I like lighthearted atmospheres. I like seeing others as lighthearted. I notice and milk the lightheartedness in the family...

蓝田日暖

I was standing at the booth, waiting for my roasted sausage, and the flower vendor began to talk to a delivery person about economy. As soon as the conversation started, I could immediately feel my emotional change. They were talking about the facts they perceived which were absolutely true to them. But as for me, would I want to talk about economy like they do? No, not at all. My emotions let me know those words wouldn't do me any good. There are still people thriving. There are still businesses growing and expanding.  Anyway, what vision and aspects of economy do I want to focus upon? This is most important.

Remembering this, I decide to, here and now, deliberately activate the feeling of my abundance. This afternoon, I got to know one of the most impressive musical pieces for me recently--我的阿勒泰. I immediately found it on the music app and looped it. And I knew there were other versions with other instruments I could explore later on. It served as wonderful bgm when I observe the natrual beauty, when I walk fast, when I read novels and when I ponder interesting life subjects in my mind. From time to time, I may shift to The Rose's ablum--their songs have a unique vibe, a bit slow going with obvious emotions vibrating at every syllable.

I was reading a novel while eating beef dumplings at a Lanzhou Ramen Restruant. I could clearly feel the falvors of the lunch, while at the same time, my mind got hooked by what's happening in the novel. I was multitasking. Everything pleasing me, be it a snack, or a novel, or a song, is valuable to me and in most cases, I am willing to pay for them. Now I began a new journey of purchasing novels in digital forms, or send gifts to my favorite writers. Comparatively speaking, most things that please me are mind contents, digital creations, not traditional physical stuff. And that's why electornic products play an extremely important role in my life. I am a frantic story lover. I feel blessed to encounter lots of marvelous stories revolving around my favorite actors and several characters they played. I feel blessed to know so many creative, imaginative and talented writers.

I always have abundant free time to do what I like. I always have abundant delicious solitude. I am always surrounded by pleasing sounds. I am always staying in lovely physical spaces--bright, comfy, convenient and delicious. I have access to unlimited interesting, funny, informative, mind opening, beautiful, and inspiring Internet resources. Which put a big smile on my face. Which automatically write "Aha!" on my mind's screen. Which hook me to listen twice and then explore. Which relax and quiet my mind. I am always accompanied by hot fragrant coffee and resonating music. I am always amazed at the healing natural views in, over and along the river.

I have been showering more love toward myself recently. Because, I decided to. I encourage myself more instead of blaming myself. I spend less time thinking about other's thoughts and I deliberately shift my attention when certain conflict happens because directly dealing with it often makes things worse and often comes up more comlicated thought bundles. I know more clearly every day what I truly like and I try my best to fulfill them. I purposefully lessons my negative emotions toward any other becasue I want to feel good no matter what, because I want to fill myself with love instead of hate or jealousy or impatience, because I want to better use my time and energy and spend them on what I truly love doing and those negative emotions often cost me much time and energy which could have been put on other more pleasing subjects. When love is too hard to achieve, then indifference or the power/self-discipline of not giving the attention would be another wonderful choice. These attitude help me a lot. When I'm tricked to go backwards, such as thinking that I should sacrifice, or I should struggle,
I now can more quickly pull myself back, remembering that those are old, limited, not beneficial thoughts. Aftering calming down, I would even ask myself: Under this specific condition, what would going beyond mean? What would my looking forward and moving forward mean, instead of going back, or standing still? This quetion helps me open my mind and stretch my thoughts...

蓝田日暖

I like kindness. I like the open heart to care and share and uplift. I like mutual respect and appreciation. I like people doing what they truly like and they often go beyond expectations.

There are masters and uplifters in every area. They like what they do. They are good at what they do. They are born uplifers, who want to support, help, benefit and uplift other people. I like noticing them. I like meeting them. I like hearing their stories. I like being one of them.

I remembered that doctor who treated my mom. He was very considerate and insisted she stay in the hosptical and receive the surgery as soon as possible. He would operate the surgery. My stubborn mom went back home, thinking it as a non-issue. The next day, the excrutiating pain sent her to the hospital again and luckily he discovered her and immediately arranged the surgery. He was a lighthearted and confident surgeon, comforting her and told us it might last a bit longer considering the specific situation, but all was well, no need to worry. Many hours later, he came out still with this lightness, explaining that it's big stuff, and he had taken it out  through a very little cut--that's why it cost more time; it needed more carefulness and higher skills. I thanked him, while at the same time, felt strongly amazed at his mental and physical power. Standing there doing the surgery for such a long time, he still emanated this robustness and lightheartedness. Impressive! All went very well afterwards. Since then, we both remembered this responsible, confident, skillful and energetic doctor. What kind of doctors do we want to meet if we go to the hospital? Of course the ones like him.

I like remembering all these lovely people in my life. My mom loves cooking and is good at cooking and likes sharing snacks with relatives and friends. My sister treats every one with full respect and tends to stand in others' shoes and often gives other people the benefit of the doubt. She is ready to support, help and soothe. My brother is a people person, and he likes amusing
people with his unique sense of humor. He can easily make friends with his warmness and geunine heart.

I like interacting with people who love what they do now, because interaction like this would often be mutually beneficial. They may happily answer every question of mine, becasue this is what they like doing. They like offering clarity to people, they like connecting with people, they like moving toward the best solution together with the people they talk with. They provide me the most delicious food and beverages, because they fill the process of making them with their strong fondness. They love cooking. They love getting better and better at making coffee. They show me big smiles, and feel happy that more customers make this space more robust and lovely...

蓝田日暖

一团团浓烈的白云滚在地平线上，碧玉湖里已然是一个丰盛的世界，水鸟掠，芦苇曳。

充电式桌面灯已经到了，有三档强度可调。之前还会担心充电款的东西会临时没电，带来麻烦，但这样的麻烦几乎从未发生过，于是我越来越喜欢充电便携易折叠的电子产品及其他了。鼠标是无线的，耳机是蓝牙的，台灯是充电的，还有什么小型家电和电子设备是不必带充电线的呢？我可以好好想想。

附近的小超市里终于补充了合味道五香牛肉面，很利索地烧水泡了。打开电脑，随机点了一篇文。还好作者有良心提前警告，说这是一篇从头虐到尾的小说，双方轮流虐；再看章节，好家伙，都近百章了。百章长的虐文？我现在可无福消受，逃了逃了。四分钟到，面泡好了，开吃，除了咖喱牛肉味和这个味道，合味道其他的泡面我都不喜欢，不是太辣，就是太咸。

最近在看一个vlog，up主很会操控无人机，航拍出来的风景极好看，好奇之下，我去京东查了无人机信息。在京东上，你永远不用担心商品信息的匮乏，因为商家会绞尽脑汁把商品所有好处——有的没的，包括大量买家压根意识不到，或者根本用不上的优点——图文并茂给你列出来。大疆迷你轻量款无人机——好家伙，好长的页面。我只是略感兴趣，还没打算买，更没打算学习如何操纵，所以我一目十行，三下五除二给它来了个小总结：简单来说，它轻，容易操作，会自动屏蔽障碍，画质绝佳，横竖屏皆可，高帧率动态效果好，传输速度快，入手不亏。浅涉完，我量了下电脑桌的长度，转而去搜索折叠书桌，确定100cm长应该够用，哪怕换一个屏幕大一点的一体机，还是能摆下的。

昨天想起了那位曾给老妈做手术的医生，相当负责，自信，技术也高。然后，我很自然地就回忆起《浪漫医生金师傅》了。当然，不用去医院是最好的，但如果得去，我绝对希望碰上金师傅这样的医生。他已经超出了一般的负责程度，差不多是全身心投入于医疗事业了，知识与技艺均一流。别的科室不说，牙医我应该还是要看的，之前一直看的那位在本地小有名气，挺好的，但我还是希望多知道几位负责、自信、专业、技艺卓越的牙医，不管怎么说，选择余地大点总归安心些。

昨晚我一心多用，在外面连续走了两个小时，在手机上看了听了两个小时，一点都不累。平地快走对我来说是一件再容易不过的事，但爬山不行，连续长时间走上坡路等于要我的命。以前应朋友之邀，也爬过好几次山，但后来怕了只好婉拒，因为气喘吁吁心脏嘭嘭跳的我，无瑕，也没心情欣赏风景了，心中只有大大的疑惑：这，究竟，有什么乐趣？所以，爬山一点都不是我的兴趣，事实摆在眼前，我无法辩驳，所以我聪明地，不去爬。是的，我很久很久没有爬过山了。

在网易云上整理了一张新歌单，目前在循环的歌包括：我的阿勒泰，好天气 坏天气，慢冷2024，Red Moon，你是我的风景，倒数说爱你，病变，人间天堂，头头是道，山羊，友情岁月，目不转睛，危险派对。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

Yan, this wonderful girl, this amazing travelling vlogger, has the easy-going charm to attract friends wherever she goes. In Kuching Malaysia, she met two Malaysian Chinese who willingly acted as her guide. Long time ago, I already knew that Malaysian Chinese did a good job in maintaining Chinese culture, including the languages. One of the gentlemen said Sun Zhongshan influenced them a lot by his powerful speeches and then the community tried its best to build schools and keep the culture alive on and on. "Two words to answer the how and why. Persistence. We never give up." After the inspiring conversation and some interesting stories about themselves, they took her to eat the local gourmet food like lasak--a kind of sour and spicy noodles.

As for persistence, there are certain things I persistently do every day. When I wake up, I breathe deliberately to quiet my mind as much as I can, for twenty minutes. As I am washing and brushing, I fill my mind with lighthearted, good feeling thoughts, such as something new I read online, or some new desires to focus upon in a positive manner. I often ponder upon subjects that play important roles in my life, like relationships, desired human aspects I wanna see more in my experience, etc.

I felt a bit bored and my mind seemed to want something dramatic. Gee! old habit. Let me do something to get the creative juices flow. How? Anyway can do. I remembered the importance and benefits of contrast/comparison. So I started writing: The vlogger was walking in the slum, the air smelt so bad, and the muddy earth was actully filled with human feces. Not many working opportunities for them, so a lot of girls and women there had to do what they didn't like at all to earn money. The drinking water was polluted. The huts were unbearablly hot...

These vivid scenes immeidately led me to genuinely appreciating where I were, because I decided to beforehand. Because I wanted ignite certain appreciation of my present surroundings. And then, I can more easily look forward and move forward with a more energetic mind and body:

I always stay in bright, neat, perfectly spacious, and convenient spaces with fast and stable wi-fi and quiet/gentle, pleasing sounds. I can easily get into a focused mental state. I get myself hot cofffee, and sipping coffee, I begin to do what I like on my laptop. I put on my earphones, letting beautiful songs create my desired sound background. I have access to unlimited resonating music online, especially on Netease Music Cloud app wherever I am. My mind moves fast and understands information and data efficiently while my fingers move like flying on the laptop keyboard. The air is fresh and the temperature is totally pleasurable. I wandered on a lovely novel website and got hooked by a cute story and bought the extra contents with the currency I just bought there. At the same time, there are writers so generous that they just share their whole stories without any limitation, like dropping a bomb--but an extremely delicious bomb. I could clearly feel their love for these characters and I am glad that they give them happy endings.

I like pondering upon subjects that are of great importance to me, such as relationships. I have a tendency to let go of my continual appreciation of people in my life and then let uncomfortable stuff creep in, not dealing with it immediately which often causes complicated feelings and situations. So yesterday, I spent quite some time reading and thinking about relationships. I started with easy ones. I can easily appreciate certain people and make the appreciation stronger and stronger. And I can purposefully cultivate my positive expectations of them, expecting them to be happy, powerful, independent, resilient, healthy, solution oriented, etc. I thought in my mind's eye: He is so cute, handsome, happy and funny. He is talkative and in love with sharing whatever interest him. He must have great fun with his classmates who share the same interests. He is good at imagination. He knows how to apply his mind. He is good at ignoring the nagging of the adults. He likes running around and moving around with excitement. Every day, his curiosity brings him new lovely experiences. He is busy living and loving his life that he doesn't care much about what the adults are concerned about. He stays happy and adventurous. He stubbornly focuses upon things that feel good to him...

Enough attention and thought on the subject of relationships in my nearby surroundings. There were so many others things I wanna do. I like cleverly arranging my time and energy. So, what about my body and its functions? Um, I wanna my mind to move faster in more areas. I can listen and understand faster than before. I can read and understand faster. But I want them to be faster and I wanna know where the limits are, like what those Olympic athletes do. I want to watch pictures--including motion pictures, and capture the essence and the details in a faster and faster manner... In other words, I wanna more parts of my mind and body to be able to move faster and faster. These are new attributes I wanna cultivate in my mind and body. And I can always slow down if that is the best choice here and now. Because sometimes, slowing down would make up more delicious moments...

Looking back, obviously, my mind was far away from where it started when it was remembering those scenes in the slum. I did get the creative juices flowing.

蓝田日暖

Abundance, clarity, pleasing/

I know where to find cuteness, though recently I am busy with other emotions and elements. But still, I may watch one or two cute videos, usually from 胖团和胖圆 or 张踩铃. 团团, 圆圆 and 张拿铁 represent cuteness for me.

I keep on getting what I like and want every day. As I decided to manage my phone, I discovered a long album of MeloMance, a Korean group or indie folk duo, and their songs were quite different from lots of Kpop songs--they have gentle rhythms and often emanate sad and beautiful feels. I immediately put these musical pieces into the list of beautiful music worth listening. And it's a long album, more-than-three-hours long, so I can loop and savor it for some time.

Reclining on the sofa chair in the Luckin, I moved fast my fingers on the phone in the process of thinking and writing. I like this bright, comfy, neat, perfectly spacious space with hot delicious smooth latte of coconut flavor. I just finished an interview talking about weather to forgive those who have hurt you deeply. It's a very personal thing. If not forgiving could keep someone live and strive to get a little better and little better, to get stronger, to be able to love himself/herself more, then just be that, because it's much better than faking forgiveness and then being dragged down into disempowerment. Plus, when you are in fear, most of the time, it's too far a pace to talk about forgiving. In that state, the key is to use any way to find some strength back, to make the environment--mental and physical--safer and safer.  Okay, enough for this subject.

I appreciate her because she pushed some buttons and caused some emotional turmoil within me. She let me know clearly that I don't like harsh words directed at me. So at first I avoided her like a plague. I knew I could fight back and based upon the usual habits between us, it might lead to more dramatic stuff, those off-putting old tropes. Then I would feel so wronged and so right and she is so wrong and she should feel guilty--and she often did and she would try her best to sorta compensate. To break the cycle, I have to seek new ways to go about this. And for now, I choose to be very very patient about myself before I am clear about this. However, the objectives are already quite clear, though it's just too far for me to easily achieve now. But the new ways must lead to them. This is sure. I want:

We have harmony. We respect each other. We feel good when getting together. We are not imposing stuff upon the other when the other clearly shows the attitude. We are able to love and show love...


Now soothe myself:

This is temporary. Most parts of my life works extremely well for me. I get clearer and clearer about what I like and I have been fulfilling many of them every day. I have a wonderful body. I am clear-minded, flexible and energetic. I have extremely abundant free time to do what I like. I wake up in a quiet environment to meditate, to start my day with a lighthearted mood. I eat and drink what I like. I am always pick and stay in lovely physical spaces. My electronic products all work well for me. I enjoy music wherever I am. I have access to unlimited Internet resources. I have a long list of things I love doing and I do part of them every day. I read lovely novels. I explore interesting life subjects. I take long walks and feel the beauty along the river. I appreciate and savor a lot. I can easily find lovliness in other people. I meet people who are in love with what they do and that benefits me a lot. I appreciate them in abundant ways. I may favorite their creations. I may thank them directly. I fully relax my body, letting music resonate with my body, or picturing poetic scenes in my mind's eye, or thinking clearly word by word using my brains. I can patiently ponder upon a subject until new clarity comes up. I stubbornly look for and fiind more and more positive aspects of people, things and places. Things are always working out for me. Where I am is alright, because this is always a way leading me to wherever I want to be. I just need to be a little more patient toward myself and not giving up no matter what. I like deliberately looking forward and moving forward, and this is such a wonderful method to falling back into guardedness or fearing of loss...

蓝田日暖

某人结婚了，好些cp粉心碎一地，我暗自庆幸，作为半个准cp粉--过去式的，对此我毫不伤心，反而诚挚祝福。哪怕是正在嗑的这对，我也有办法不被创飞，毕竟我嗑cp是为了开心，而不是呕血的。聪明！

哇哦，我转过头，和她眼对眼，面面相觑。实在是太长了！我们看着她安静地躺在床上，从头到脚感受了一下她的身高，还是忍不住惊叹。“看样子，以后上学，她得坐后排了。”我说，她点头。按照她父母的身高，眼前这一幕我们早就预计到了，但还是有那么一点震撼。作为这个家里的矮子，以后我肯定得仰视她。

我在看一篇欢脱的文，看到第二章，感觉有什么不得劲。哈！原来是背景乐不对，MeloMance的声音是美，但这歌过于悲了，和当下氛围不匹配啊，于是，我在手机里扒拉，找到了Twice的一张专辑，一般而言韩国女团的歌，欢快的概率比较大一点。点击开听几分钟后，我知道自己找对了。

小地豆？饶是用了这么多年中文，有时候还是会被一些看似简单的汉字给难住。地豆，地里的豆，不会是土豆吧？额，搜索了一下，倒是猜对了。两天后，看阿星在兰州进了一家卖洋芋片的店，然后他夹着薄薄的一片，应该是那啥洋芋片吧，说这土豆片咋的咋的。嗯？！看到“芋”字，我本以为他吃的是芋艿制品，可照现在来看，难道洋芋也=土豆？去百度了下，还真是。土豆啊，土豆，你究竟有多少个名字？百度说：土豆又被称为马铃薯、洋芋、番仔薯、薯仔、地蛋、山药蛋、荷兰薯、地苕、洋番薯、馍馍蛋等。

昨天下午接到电话，她告诉我有些东西要从国外寄来，到时候帮她拿一下。行吧，问了一嘴是什么东西，好家伙，原来她就是那心碎一地cp粉中的一员啊。“怎么回事？现在还愿意买他们双人的东西啊？”隔着电话，我仿佛看到了她蹙着的眉头，“我哪知道。我是前两天刚下单的，哪知道，靠……”

蓝田日暖

I like that all my packages are safe, waiting for me whenever I get home to fetch them.

I like this bright, comfortable, supportive, abundant, convenient cafe where I can fully recline on the sofa and watch a high-quality movie of 1080p on bilibili. Where I can enjoy the gentle, flowing background music/sounds, and focus my mind the way I want to be. Where I can easiy walk out and get myself an ice cream, or a cup of hot delicious coffee at Luckin. Where I wander on interesting websites and receive some mind-opening updates. Where I think and write efficiently. Where I read cute novels. Where I listen to resonating, guiding and inspiring speeches.

In my exploration, I discovered a beautiful Japanese song--クリームソーダとシャンデリア, and the attractive male voice impressed me at first hearing. The timbre is between rounded gentle and husky. Quite unique. It's a song worth looping.

Um, isn't he too quick-tempered? Indeed, he is a superb professional in his work, but he seems to easily get impatient in relationships. But this makes him a vivid, relatable character who has still been learning, growing and getting more mature. He has his reason for anger because one of his most important areas, his work, is interfered by people and accidents, which he hasn't learned how to quickly calm down and seek for solutions. So the throws a fit. He loses balance between his work and other life areas. Like him, I also get impatient easily when I am doing something with a very focused mind and someone comes to me and asks me questions, etc. We all need time to learn, grow, balance, and adopt a more mature attitude toward relationships, and life as a whole. As for me, reminding myself the importance of unconditional lighthearted and the harmony I truly want in relationships help me a lot.

I like feeling the love so many people, including a lot of talented writers, hold for them and the characters they have played. They bring out abundant love and appreciation and creativity. As an audience and reader, I feel blessed to be positively influenced by these people and their marvelous creations out of strong love. New ideas keep sprouting. Imagination flowers in all directions. What a world!

蓝田日暖

昨晚，我在自行车棚下找了一圈没找到自己的快递，回家有点闷闷不乐，倒不是这个快递很值钱，而是这段时间我建立起了一种负向的预期，如果我在晚上九点后来取快递的话，它们很可能会被别人拿走。而我又不想让门卫去调监控，毕竟不想麻烦他，而且是我自己每次信誓旦旦告诉他，放露天就行，丢了也是我自己负责。

确实，小物件丢了不是什么大事，也不值钱，但：不管买什么，我买它都是为派用场的，不是为了把它搞丢的。而且再买，又要耽搁几天，麻烦。显然，我需要改变一下自己的负向预期。我最希望的是，无论多晚回家，我的快递都会安全到达我的手中，没人会拿走它们。将这种希望变成信念或事实需要一定的时间，而在这之前，我选择尽量在八点前取快递，那时候周围都是人，没人会去拿不属于自己的东西。然而，我最需要做的事是不断将自己的注意力导向新的想法上，稀释相关的气闷感，打断老旧的负面预期，用如下想法调整自己的不利预期——其实回溯来看，其实我的快递一直是安全的，不管我多晚去拿，丢件是小概率事件。。。。。。

今天有两个重要快递来，本来打算晚上七点左右去拿的，但在顺丰提醒我过后，我还是提前去取了。在去的路上，我发现，经过昨天一天的有意识调整，自己的想法已经有了变化，我甚至开始想，昨天那个遗失的快递会不会还能找到？谁知道呢，一切皆有可能。所以，将两个大纸箱搬到一边后，我没有立刻离开，而是继续寻找，很快我真的发现了自己的快递。完好无损。哈！我很满意这个结果，大概猜到了原因。很可能是这个门卫下班时把露天的快递都拿回了室内，没有通知我，第二天又重新放了出来。又或者谁昨晚拿错了，今天物归原主。我不需要知道具体原因，在这件事上，我只在乎结果，我只希望：不管我几点来取快递，它们都乖乖等着我。而显然，这是个很好的实例，支持着我的新信念。想来，一段时间后，这个希望就会变成事实，我可以继续享受时间上的自由。

打开两个纸箱，里面是各种各样的物品，都是九成新甚至是十成新，整整齐齐，包装良好。有趣！看样子，买者和卖者在这方面很像，不仅喜欢收藏实物，还会非常认真地整理保养它们。我不好意思地看了眼书架上积灰的书，再一次确定：凡是电子格式能看能听的，我不会去购买收藏实物，我宁肯买电子版，这样还省了空间呢。幸好这个世界上有各种各样的人，正因为这多元化，才使得许多行业，包括一些历史悠久的行业，还能玩得转，还有收益，还能提供工作岗位。纸箱里有400多张照片，她应该看重的就是实物照片的独特质感，欣赏起来应该和电子版很不一样，尽管对我来说，两者相差不大。而且，很多时候，我看照片，看画面，会按照自己的喜好，在脑子里改变一点东西，比如把其中的蓝色加深一点因为那样比较美，或者想象那平静无波的湖面正微微起着涟漪——总之就是用自己的视觉想象力提升一下它们的美感。。。。。。

看了《追凶者也》和《波斯语课》，带着对人物性格、情绪和动机的好奇看的，观影感受丰富了许多，两次很棒的故事体验。

蓝田日暖

Things are working out for me. My "lost" package was back. I appreciate the gatekeeper because he is a responsible and considerate. The girl who mailed two big boxes to my sister, impressed me with her tenderness to her belongs--every photo has a transparent plastic cover, and there are 400 photos. She is such a perfect match in terms of the way both treat their collections. I like the variety in humans' attitudes toward physical stuff, which makes up a dazzling world.

One of the most important things for me is to have abundant consecutive time to do what I like in a supportive physical space. This is my daily desire, or better said, need. Everything that hinders it may easily put me into a bad-feeling mood. And every time that happens, I would do my best, finding any way helpful, combining all usable resources, to get that back. My mind would  move fast and I make the best of where I am, and then, usually sooner than later, the pathway opens again and I get what I desire, what I see as so important in my life. Here and now, accompanied by poetic, lightly waving music, I am in a bright, comfy, convenient, perfectly spacious, lovely space, with my laptop and hot coffee, doing what I like, remembering and writing.

The second lead in Persian Lessons is an interesting character. A perfectionist which might be influenced by his past profession as a chef, or was born to be like that. Though in the army and the war might last long, he didn't give up on his desire of being a chef again, better in a more peaceful country. He had a long plan based upon his estimation of the ending time of the war and then he could live what he liked. He wanted to open a restaurant in Teheran, he needed to speak Persian and he wanted to learn from someone who was a Persian speaker now. Half or higher percentage of his heart had already flown to his future life as a chef. He didn't want to stay in the army. He was serious about fulfilling his desire and made detailed plans for it. "I can learn four words every day, then after one month, I'd know about 120 words, and after one year, about 1500 words..." He was future oriented. He reminded me of Viktor Emil Frankl, his experience, and his book. He suggested we give the life a meaning, even it's based upon the unknown future, and this would help us better live through the now, especially the hell-like now. He had noticed that when people in the concentration camp lost hope, their lives began to wither quickly and many died so.

After watching some travelling vlogs, I get to know better what I desire now. And what I already own and like very much. I am healthy. I am abundant on so many fronts. I have access to unlimited beautiful, resonating music, and infinite stories--mind opening, interesting, cute, funny, exciting, romantic, or inspiring. I live in a city, safe, beautiful, neat, fresh and lighthearted, well managed, robust, convenient, continuously improving. I have harmony with my family. I have deep connections with my siblings. I am surrounded by pleasing sounds. I enjoy hot coffee every day. I am clear-minded, flexible and energetic. My mind has unlimited potential and it can move faster and faster. I know how to feel better by deliberately managing my thought or focus or attention. I and my nephew are both good at reaping pleasure from our imagination...

蓝田日暖

牛肉烩菜依旧在锅上蒸着，手拉的面条小心置于其上，往上略撒一些特制调味料，不加锅盖，汤汁蒸腾成白气，渗进去，将之焖得极其入味。一大盘牛肉焖面，一壶咸味热奶茶，加一碟清口解腻的蔬菜什锦，他在林间小院里享用着丰盛的午餐，几十米远处，一匹高挑健壮的青骢打了个响鼻，昂起头，朝云雾缭绕的群山望了过去。。。。。。

小伙伴们去另一边的深潭里游泳了，那里我还一次也没去过。从岸边下水，思考着从哪里游过去或走过去更快一些，我脚下不停，尚不知道等着我的将是什么。突然，我脚一滑，踩空了，仿佛进入了一个黑洞，水一下子深了许多，肯定超过了我的身高。我呛水了，四肢开始乱扒拉，完全忘记了我会游泳这回事。我不会游泳了！靠，我觉得自己死定了，在恐惧中，我的眼睛还睁着，不远处我的同桌竟然嘻嘻哈哈看着我，以为我是假装的。谁tm拿死开玩笑，我竟然还有时间在心里骂他sb。但，最主要的心理活动还是，我要死了，永远都不存在了。我已经完全失去时间感了，所以也不知道过了多久，身体的本能竟然让我浮了起来，我竟然后仰着头，双手有规律地拨动着，相对稳定地浮在了水面上，也不呛水了。还来不及蓄力呼救或说话，那小撮人终于意识到了问题，其中有一名比大几岁的男孩，拿了个黑色救生胎，游了过来，我彻底得救了。自那之后，那条路线就成了我的禁区，我换了另一条安全的路线去水潭跳水。虽然会游泳，但不擅长，我游得不快，动静倒是很大，但潜水游似乎就要快上很多，只是憋不了气，在水中憋气比赛中也往往是早露头的那几个。但还是喜欢钻下去看溪底的石头，发现好看的，就捡起来带回家。偶尔会忘记时间，直到天暗下来，母亲到桥头喊我们回家吃饭。

堂姐要睡在我们家，凤凰台上在放《东京爱情故事》，她们似乎看得很带劲，我感觉一般，没太大兴趣。父母不在家，我坐在床上翻着课外读物，偶尔听一听她们在聊什么。不久，一些奇怪的动静吸引了我们的注意，似乎是什么硬物敲了窗户，还不是一次。什么鬼！我们都停了下来，打开窗户往外看，有个身影一闪而过，也不知道是谁。不会有危险吧！我转过头去看身旁的两位姐姐，她们的表情有点怪，但马上就笃定地朝我点头，说没事。哦，我依旧牵挂着刚看的那个故事，也就没多想，回原位翻起了书。多年后，总算知道了个大概，那个一闪而过的身影，据说被好好骂了一顿。

我们一家出了远门，在城里逛了游乐园后，又去看电影，好像放的是《北洋水师》吧。那时候的我，对影视剧的兴趣实在是不大，或者说那个故事并不适合小孩子看，恐怕都看不懂。反正，我执意要去外面买棒冰吃，拗不过我，母亲给我塞了钱，让我买了赶紧回来。现在想来，我们两个心都很大，大概也是因为当年人口拐卖什么的很少见。我出门前认真看了一眼门卫，好记住他的脸，我也确实记住了，但等我拿着棒冰站在他面前时，他不让我进去，说我认错了地方什么的。不对啊，看着他的脸，我觉得自己没错，但他还是不松口。就在那时，母亲出来了，有点生气地把我领了进去，我懵懵懂懂，但还是有点庆幸，意识到差一点就真的走丢了。如果那个看门人再自信地说上几句，我真会以为自己走错了，另找他地，到时候就有的烦了。

。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

This is such a big world and most parts are still so unknown and new to me. I listened to a MV of a Turki song, where people wore traditional resplendent robes and play the traditional instruments. It must be a song about war, and both men and women showed belligerent facial expressions. From my point of view, the acting is a bit overdone and this is because of my own preferences for body languages. Sounds of some of the instruments feel refreshing to my ears, but I don't have strong emotions toward this song. No strong positive emotions like love; no strong negative emotions like disgust. They seem to like blue and white colors, and I have seen quite some white and blue in their architecture and clothes.

I have collected more natural scenes which can heal, soothe and uplift. The boundless waving grass land, with its robust beautiful horses galloping, grazing and snorting, with its fluffy sheep bleating, and with snow-white cotton-like clouds adorning its edges. The giant round, jade lake on the top of the moutain, relfecting floating clouds and waving reeds, surrounded by chirping flocks of migratory birds, white-colored; the breeze brings out gentle ripples on the surface, turning it into a crib for the clouds, reeds and birds accidently flying over...

New cute, lovely, intriguing stories pop up every day on the novel apps. It's mind-opening to see how two characters fall in love in different backgrounds with different roles they play in the society. They may work in the same system but in different departments. They may have great difference in social status. They may fall in love at first sight. They may turn to lovers from enemies. They may...

I am glad that they have great harmony with each each other. They care for each other. They willingly do things for each other. They chat happily and they share same interests. They like their work and they like meeting customers. They like interacting with everyone coming to them. He stands in his physical shoes and patiently answers his questions and fulfills his curiosity with great clarity and focus. Mutual appreciation oozes in the space. They are born to be people person and uplifters--they love understanding, believing in, encouraging, and uplifting people in their lives. They are sunny beings often with big smiles on their faces. They are persistent dreamers, never letting other people interfere with their dreams. They get into the zone, and become magicians in the sports games. They get inspired and create long lasting artworks of extreme beauty adored and loved and enjoyed by lots of people. They are pure lovers with golden hearts, spreading their contagious laughter all around. They are such gentle, warm, patient beings that people get immediately relaxed staying with them...

蓝田日暖

今早少有的冷，之前买的那副五指手套总算派上了用场，特别喜欢它们特别安排用来触屏的拇指和食指设计，方便我在冷空气中刷手机。

小家伙脸红扑扑的，左边还留了一个冻疮印，应该一岁不到，还只会叫妈妈。不管大人如何形容他的行为，在我看来他就是个超级自由的灵魂，正极度好奇地用他的身体和五感探索着周边。我把他抱到外面，用太阳暖了一会脸，然后随意选了一条路走：这里我也不熟，就从心而动地逛逛吧。在冰箱修理铺前，我们发现了一个鸟笼，里面的鸟长得像麻雀，但体型是它的三倍，想来是那种叫起来好听的鸟，可惜在我们相处的间隙，它一直没叫。它的安静不能阻挡他的热情，他开始呜哩哇啦地对着小鸟说起话来。几分钟后，我坐在了棋牌室门外的椅子上，在他轻微挣扎的十几秒时间里，迅速查了一下最近的瑞幸咖啡店，有些失望，因为它在千米之外，必须点外卖，到手的话应该不会太热了。

今天需要做一些类似流水线的工作，综合考虑、充分利用一切条件使当下一刻更有趣已是我的习惯，因而一早就带了充电宝、保温杯和手机支架。我听了好多歌，听了一些演讲，读了一部连载小说的18章，思考了很多，这些事与双手的重复性动作同步进行，但吸收了我绝大部分的注意力，是我情绪流的主因，由于这些活动都是我喜欢的，所以我的主流情绪是轻松满意的，尽管我的部分身体在做无聊重复的动作。

我喜欢做一个超级有主见的人，尤其年关将近，面对一些聚会，这尤其重要。别人说的关于我的所有事情，实际上和我无关，一旦我明确自己想要什么，同意什么，不赞成什么，互动就会变得简单很多。该拒绝就拒绝，该忽略就忽略，该离开就离开。做i人比较舒服，就不要强迫自己成为e人。几年前，我可能会担心别人说有的没的，让我不舒服。现在我的态度是，如果我很不想去那就不去，至少可以现在就避免一些不必要的担心；如果我决定去，就期待一次放松的相遇，对现场的信息必须有选择地接收与整理，立刻马上把一部分看似是我的事情归入“与我无关”类别。他们可以说他们的，我自己选择，他们说的，与我有关还是无关。

我提前离开，来的时候忙着看小说，路线记得并不是那么清楚——好嘛，几百米后在一个三叉路口犹豫上了，眼看有关“路痴”的种种历史就要浮上心头，我立刻深呼吸，要求自己平静，然后求助高德地图。幸好，电子地图更新及时，线路异常清晰，靠着导航，我总算顺利到了家。晚饭吃了番茄牛腩拉面和一袋糖炒栗子，半小时后，人就在咖啡店里了，左手一边热美式，下午已经喝过热拿铁，此时清口咖啡比较合适。

最近在b站看电影都是停停看看的，看悬疑片停下来可能是因为前面看得太潦草忽略了一些重要信息需要从头看，看某些时代背景下的电影会按暂停键则是由于氛围过于沉重、主人公命运多舛，迫使我停下来喘口气。于是乎，到今天，《钢琴家》看了三分之二，《十月围城》看了三分之一，《锅匠，裁缝，士兵，间谍》才看了四分之一。

蓝田日暖

妈呀，他也……太温柔了吧。腼腆的，温柔的，有爱的。嗯，在某些情境中，我也想像他那样温柔有爱。对于小孩，我足够温柔有爱，耐心无比。可对一些成年人，我容易不耐烦——我也不想的，就是还没有培育出足够的理解与爱。

他一身合体黑西装，放松地靠坐着，混血但偏东方的英俊面庞透着超越年龄的成熟与淡定，此时的李小龙才24岁，却已是如此自信，气场强大。谈起他所擅长的，热情与智慧渗透在他的话语中，并非空谈理论，他的言论立刻便在他的动作表演中得到了证实。他当场展示了令人咋舌的速度、力量、精准度和游刃有余的自控力。

他扭着头一直往后看，拼命跳纵，搞得我也有些好奇，于是我放他下来，搀着他走，看他究竟要去什么地方。几分钟后，我们来到了由一群人围着的两个废弃游戏机旁。没人朝我们撇来奇怪的眼神，我也没觉得突兀，我们就这么融入了其中。小娃儿开始敲打游戏机，那群人继续他们的闲聊，似乎在说与客户的龃龉，有位小哥建议他的朋友既然与对方好几年都没有生意往来了，那就没必要顾虑面子，该直说就直说，是时候把钱要回来了。几分钟后，一个五六岁的可爱小男孩走了过来，捧着手机，手机里传出熟悉无比的声音：哈！是小猪佩奇。果不其然，游戏机前一岁不到的小朋友立刻寻找声音来源，游戏机立刻不香了，确定目标后，在我的帮助下，他挪了过去，立志要看到佩奇和乔治。

在暖气包裹中，我昏昏欲睡。白天没有午睡，又用眼过度，我感觉光小憩二十分钟不足以使头脑清醒，这让我懊恼，因为我想现在立刻马上就清醒无比，动手做自己喜欢的事。我不想浪费时间在休息上，顶着昏沉的脑袋，一些习惯性的想法又冒头了，催促着我努力睁开眼皮按计划行事。但另一个声音很清楚地告诉我，这样的模式效率更低，会使我更长久地沉浸在混沌里，闭目养神才是王道，想想休息过后的清明，哪怕耗时一个钟头，也是值得的，划算的。终于，我说服了自己，戴上耳机，开始在轻音乐和有规律的呼吸声中，放松自己的头脑与身体。大概五十分钟后，活力重新造访我，我又可以活蹦乱跳地做自己喜欢的事了。