家庭是个大课堂

蓝田日暖

大年初一或初二基本会去看电影了，这次大概可以边喝咖啡边电影，全程不用离坐。如果好看的话，可以两刷三刷。已经开始想象和期待好看的路演，以及电影中的丰富互动了。培育和保有幸福的期待本身就是一种幸福，发生在此时此刻的幸福。

老妈总是有事做的，她，尤其是她的手很难停下来。以前我说过，她是行动派，我是思想派，这句话依旧有效。我手接触最多的就是键盘，电脑键盘和手机键盘，我主要是在打字和写东西。我妈就不一样了，她拿铲子烧菜，她揉面做菜包肉包白馒头，她踩缝纫机，她收齐材料做棉鞋……但有一点和我很像，她做这些事的时候超级专注，其他人最好别去打扰她。我以前也这样，别人中途来打扰我，我会立刻不耐烦，但最近基本不会了，因为已经学会在短暂的“干扰”后迅速高质量回归之前的活动。

仔细想来，她算是很能自娱自乐的人。别人夸赞她，她当然也喜欢；但她做这些事主要是自己喜欢，所以在某些人看来，她可能“没苦硬吃”。明明可以手机上点一点就买几双棉鞋，她硬是要花很长的时间自己做。她会对着麦克风自己一个人唱歌，最近在厨房哼歌的时间也明显增多了。此外，和老爸一样，两人都开始听有声故事。

突然想起小时候，如果我真的病恹恹，我是的确能得到特殊照顾的，所以生小病也不是绝对的坏事。但如果换个家庭，我大概压根不会想生病，但我妈是那种如果你生病，她会很温柔很耐心的人。她决不会雪上加霜，和你说，“你怎么就那么弱，这么点事就生病？有没有用啊？”这一点，到现在依旧如此。简单来说，遇到她认为处于困境需要帮助的人时，她会变得耐心细致有爱，她会努力鼓励你。。。。。。某些情况下，这样的人和这样的态度真的可以救命。

蓝田日暖

果然这几天零食吃多了，上称一站，结果明明白白。

我要求不高，只要维持在某个数值以下，于是立刻决定接下去几天减少零食增加运动量。很快迎来最重要的一步，计算热量。这次的情况和上次吃话梅糖一样，我在赵一鸣零食店买了一款特别合胃口的鹌鹑蛋豆干，然后就哐哐猛吃。认真计算了一下热量，好家伙一小包有70多卡，前一天，我大概吃了至少有十几包，搞不好有二十几包，汗！

知道了热量，问题就好解决了，当天晚上我吃了两小包就打住了，这天快走比平时多了一个小时。第二天，下午的咖啡换成了几乎无热量的纯美式，没有加糖和加奶，早上和晚上喝的旧街场白咖啡，热量还行。并没有特别节食，按照优先等级，先减的必然是零食，咖啡是不会减少的，顶多不加糖不加奶。

两天后，目标实现，而且不存在食物方面的剥夺感。主要原因就是除了咖啡，我对其他东西没有执念，不注意的时候是会多吃，但意识到热量过高的话，也很容易调整进食量，少吃就少吃，没什么大不了的，内心几乎不会有什么纠结。

蓝田日暖

看《黑白诀》，体会到了某种独特的满足感。

电视剧里出现了这样一个场景：两主角千辛万苦救出来的人质高烧躺在卫生院的病床上，因为某个特别的理由，两主角必须在走廊尽头的座机旁打电话，此时那个逃走的绑架犯又返回，打算再度劫持人质。

好家伙！这两幅画面一前一后，再反复几次，观众的心不就吊起来了。一旦那劫匪真的把人质带走，观众绝对要开骂，而且会骂得很难听。事实上，有上帝视角的观众已经在弹幕里骂人了，“这么重要的时刻，你俩就不能留一个在病房吗？”而实际上，那个具体的场景还真需要两人同时在电话机旁轮流通话。有观众立刻会说：那好歹找一名护士或者病人家属帮忙留意下吧。。。。。。

我期待这剧情不要陷入老套，不然也太无趣了。而且我也不想加入骂骂咧咧的行列。好在，出乎意料的是，在劫匪即将要将人质带离时，老警察眼尖发现他们，几乎在同时年轻警察果断拔枪射中了劫匪，他们成功救回人质。

Bravo!就该这样，总算有点点新意，也让观众把心放下来，减少因骂骂咧咧带来的戾气。

这是什么？这是名副其实的有惊无险。

蓝田日暖

What I like:

I like walking fast in the open air, surrounded by lush trees and beautiful flowers, under the crystal-clear dome, while accompanied by resonating music.

I like exploring what I truly like, prefer and want to have/own/do now. Because they are so important for me to live as fully as I can. And they definitely change as time goes by.

I like observing closely flowers and ancient-style architecture. I like the abundant colors and shapes in flowers and I like the serene feeling those ancient-eaves and brass bells look to my eyes. I see pure beauty in them.

I like knowing what kind of relationships I prefer. When I see people quarrel for simple things, I want that we are all stable and respectful enough to treat each other nicely. To speak to each other nicely. To be understanding and allowing so-called mistakes. I like true harmony and maturity in relationships. I like the natural willingness to do things for each other, just because we have love in our hearts. I like that we like staying together and so we stay together; otherwise we do our own things, not needing to force ourselves to be together, sit together, or go some place tother for this or that reason. I like experssing my appreciation and thankfulness. I like saying "thank you." I like noticing and milking the love flowing in this family. I like that I was very happy to see my aunts and my cousins the other day. I sat next to my paternal aunt and uncle and I filled their cups with hot tea. We feel happy for each other's happiness though we may not understand why certain things or activities make them happy. But now that they are genuninely happy, we get happy too. It's wonderful to explore and get better at effectively soothing and encouraging people...

I like stories. I like interesting stories. I like cute stories. I like romantic stories. I like mind-exciting detective stories. I like stories oozing unique feelings /atmospheres/auras. I like funny stories. I like stories portraying growth and expansion in areas I am interested in, such as Minning Town. I like writing stories. I like exploring themes, atmospheres, characters, situations, and twists and turns in stories.

I of course love music and will love music forever. I am uplifted by the combinations of beautiful sounds in music--human voices, instrumental sounds, the breeze blowing softly, ocean waves patting the beach, etc.

I like the beyond-description cuteness of kids. They bring the world great joy by their bright and curious eyes, adorable giggles, unexpected cute syllables, and on and on. They gently rest on your shoulder, your arm or your leg, resting or sleeping. They swim upon your body when you take them out for fun. They scream joyfully...

I like becoming more and more unconditionally lighthearted. When I notice I am making a fuss, I would like to guide my thoughts into a more open-minded, positive way. I would like to remind myself of the futility of these attitudes. For me, lightheartedness is an amazing and attractive state of being.

蓝田日暖

老妈买的破壁机到了，这下现磨豆浆不用滤渣了，还能给小娃儿榨果汁、做辅食，挺好。下午又在京东上买了一个面条机，可以做三种尺寸的面，两种宽面，一种圆面，当然又是给她买的。我不怎么爱吃面，就偶尔吃吃兰州炒拉面。我不爱做饭，对厨具可说是一无所知，她说要什么样的，按照关键词搜到了就给她下单了。双十一，总算在今天下午凑上了一次满三百减五十活动，其他东西基本都是直接打折的。

晚上在外面吃了炸虾排咖喱蛋包饭，还不错，但里面的土豆不行，总体感觉是：可以，但没什么特别的，还不如他家的炸鸡排拌饭。

走回家的路上想起在b站发现的精神状态超前的剪辑师金渐层烤猪，又是一口气看了他/她的几个叶问视频和封神视频，一路看，一路笑出猪叫——这次是真的笑夸张了，都发出了呼噜声。其实昨天就在频道里看了叶问剪辑，看完一个视频，突然就想回顾这部电影，趁爱奇艺会员还在，立刻看了第一部的前三十分，然后就暂停了，打算慢慢看，专注地看。毕竟这部电影是用心而高质量的，在人设、布景和动作设计上都花了大量心思，值得细细欣赏。。。。。。

蓝田日暖

Evening appreciation:

I am used to reading e-books. It's so convenient to read books on the phone. This is my preferred way of reading--I reading books and articles and information on computers, laptops and smartphones. When I sat in a dessert shop, I felt like reading A Dream of Red Mansions and immediately I found it on my phone. I picked the chapter where Lin Daiyu first went to her grandmother's mansions. Again, I got interested in the setting and those specific elements of architecture. I tried to imagine them in my mind's eye. I also did some searching. I like the state of being interested in something, regardless of the subject. For example, in the past few days, I was watching parts of the Ip man series because they are well-made movies with vivid and interesting characters. But according to my own preferences, I would skip some of the brutal fighting scenes.

I enjoyed shopping during the 11.11 spree though I was not fanatic. I just got the white coffee and the shop owner gave me 3 extra pieces. I got two pairs of sneakers. I deliberately calculated and got some bonuses for what we as a family bought. Good!

Yesterday, I spent 75 minutes creating the new chapter of the novel. I was fully focused. I got into another world. Words were naturally flowing out. The characters were all lovely. So glad that I decided to write novels three months ago. What a wonderful way to focus my mind and attract inspirations! It is one of the activities most ringing my bells. It must have newness and creativity otherwise I wouldn't write. When something is related to an amazing story, it immediately becomes more meaningful and attractive to me. It could be a very small, decrepit house, but so warm and unique, because the family living there are loving toward each other. They support each other and are making the best of the house, not complaning at all. In a word, all wonderful things are possible in stories.

I love coffee. I love music. I love thinking, exploring and writing. I love watching, reading and listening to stories. I love walking and taking in the beauty around me. I love that I always have abundant consecutive free time to fully enjoy them.

I love seeing the great love oozing from my parents especially when they are with my little niece. I am glad that when they love like that, they are the direct beneficiary of the love. Loving feels so good. It's hard to not love my niece. she easily brings joy to people around her. She is cute, adorable, funny, happy, loving and beautiful.

...

蓝田日暖

这个双十一买了不少东西。以下对话差不多发生了两三次。

老妈说还要买什么。

我告诉她，“下午/晚上吧，吃不消了，现在不搞这个了。”买一两样东西，且要求简单又清晰，那是没问题的。但购物这件事，一旦买的东西增多，要求又细的话，在我就会变成一项苦差事，很容易让我烦躁的事，所以我选择分开进行，一次买几样，一天顶多两次。

在与人相处时，基本上我会明确表达自己的想法。我会尽量在烦躁之心升起之前告诉别人，现在我不适合做某事，或者现在我有事需要独处，等等。身边的人知道我的脾气，当我这么说了之后，他们不会强求。

在我状态好时，等我恢复好状态后，我会主动去协助，去帮忙，去合作。完全自愿，发自内心。为什么？因为我最喜欢的就是这类型的互动，当涉及到一方帮助/协助一方时。大方询问，人家愿意帮忙，很好，感谢；如果人家帮不了，决不强求，想其他办法——这也很棒，但我更喜欢前者。源于自然的互帮互助心理，不仅双方受益，而且时机往往也好——对方很可能依旧处于良好状态，此时得到他人的协助，属于锦上添花，他们可以带着一个好心情去做其他需要做或想做的事。很多时候，当人们开口求助时，他们已经处于疲倦的状态，事情扎堆的状态，或者负面情绪要升级或者已经升级的状态——别人的帮助可以使他们获得喘息的机会，但谈不上会有多好的状态。

如果对方很少求助于人，不喜欢求助于人，当他/她向你求助时，能帮就帮吧。这个时候，你立刻答应帮忙真的就是帮了大忙，因为他们正处于不得不求助的艰难境地。

作为一个整体而言，比如一个家庭，自愿而默契的互帮互助，可以使不必要的内耗降到最低，可以提升每个人的状态，可以达到事半功倍的效果。

蓝田日暖

My Abundance

From time to time, I explored the next chapter of the novel. And when I sat on the bench in the shopping mall, I felt like writing it out and so I did. I was highly focused, letting the scenarios flow out in the form of words on my phone. After 80 minutes, I finished the writing re-reading and I felt quite satisfied. I shared it online. I like this kind of high quality creations. I enjoy the whole process of writing--the exploring, the learning and accumulating new words and the smooth writing. When it is inspired writing, it definitely feels extra good.

I was watching A Dream of Red Mansions on my computer and this time, this vivid story in the form of TV series appeared much more interesting and satisfying after my immediate reading of certain chapters of the book. I especially liked observing what those characters wore and the decorations of their living rooms and bedrooms.

I sat comfortably on my chair with the hot coffee on the left side of the computer desk. I held the thermos, deliberately thinking my thoughts and making them clear and benficial, while sipping the hot Americano with a little sugar and milk. There are so many things I am interested in and benefit by pondering them.

...

蓝田日暖

啥也不知道地出了门，出了门才知道一件外套根本不挡风，但懒得回家去穿，一意孤行继续往前走。

选了一条相对新的路，当然是来过的，只是不常来，有学校，有大量的食店和小商铺，这时候就发现大商场和公园的重要意义了，有它们就意味着有公共卫生间。而这地方，少有的，不容易找到公共卫生间，因为连稍微大一点的KFC也没有。不过，来着吃饭的人真不少，大中型中餐馆扎堆。

终于走到江边，对面的山在烟气中若隐若现，江堤的草坪上布满黄红落叶，而宽阔的人行道却无比干净。该怎么说呢？得感谢环卫工人恰到好处的打扫，该扫的扫，该留的留。风大地湿无法阻挡钓鱼佬的热情，依旧有人包裹严实在江边垂钓。

长长一条通道把左侧的建筑工地和右侧的车道隔开，原本是人行道，现在为了安全，整个围起来，只剩前后两个入口。想来是怕盖房时不小心掉东西砸到路人，所以加了盖，走了好一会，突然怀疑前面没有出口，而是建筑工地的入口，好在一位妇人路过，我问了她确定可以走，才继续往前。

本来想去家人的新屋那里坐坐，结果他们通通出了门，索性在那温暖的大厅沙发上坐了一会，暂时离冷风远一点，居然靠着小憩了半个小时。坐上公交车在美团点了份滑蛋饭，那家店有实体店，还是双层的，几次路过都因为种种原因没进去，但有实体店的应该比专门做外卖的靠谱一点。结果是失望的，倒是没有异味，但样子一般，与其说是滑蛋饭，不如说是加了菜和鸡肉丁的鸡蛋饼，那个鸡肉丁的颜色会让我觉得加了色素，尽管也许只是因为特别腌制过。吃完的小结是：如果要吃滑蛋饭，还不如去之前去的那家商场，至少颜值高，炸鸡块也够多够好吃。